sábado, 14 de septiembre de 2013

Beautiful as I am


Yesterday morning I cried a little bit while trying to pray/read my Bible. I didn't even know why, I just felt overwhelmed with the demands of being a mom. I felt terrible because as much as I want to get outside these four walls every day, at the same time I don't. Now that I have the car, and the excitement of getting out every single day has faded -and my husband goes, "Phew! Thank you, Jesus!"- I feel more and more concerned not wanting to "waste" the time I have in my hands with them.

I am human. I cannot do it all. I finally came to terms with that once we finished the Bible study on the Proverbs 31 woman. I want to be who I am. Of course I shoot for the ideal God has shown me, but I don't mop the floor with my tears when I fall short. Because the truth is I will always fall short of God's ideal for me. That's the main purpose of a Savior. I need help. 

So lately, I've been slacking off with the letters, and learning stuff. Enzo mostly eats the books I put in front of him. Libby reads to him. It's really cute. She cracks me up, because she is a mini version of myself. Her tone of voice is so fun, and then I realize that that's me! I like what I hear. In all my stress, and my thoughts about whether I am being a good mother or not, what I see and hear is kindness from her towards Enzo. And Enzo adores his sister. This is what they know. That is what they are learning from me, I want to think. Kindness. 



Libby reading to Enzo




If Libby asks to do her lesson a day, we do it; if not, we don't. We are reading tons of books, lately, tough. We went on a trip to the library and I enjoy when we do something different every time we go. I want her to think that Mommy is amazing in these kind of field trips, you know? There will be a time when Mommy will be anything but amazing. So if right now I am her heroine, so be it :)




Slacking or not, she rocks those D's



I also like to actually interact with them. It takes a toll on my level of daily energy, and I can only imagine how I will feel once they start asking why for everything. But if we go to the library, on the way there we walk along the grass, we stop and pick up flowers, take photos, watch the fountain... I explain that those people are going to college, and I explain what college is. By the way I told them they are going to college, no matter what I heard the other day. Someone said college is not for everyone. 

I don't really know what they meant, but I'm still old school and I do think having an education helps you in many aspects of your life. You will not necessarily get a better job than someone who didn't go to college, that's not always the case, but most of the time you will. Unless, of course, they show promise and become the next Steve Jobs, or Bill Gates, both college dropouts... heck, I will even work for them :)



Picking up flowers

Trying to smile
Smiling


Brother is not cooperating

FREEEE!
So many possibilities













Getting the hang of it
Playing













Libby is exploding in her use of language. Yesterday, while "reading" a book, she said, "The cows eat grass". Emerson and I were like Whaaaaat!! in the car (we were driving to the grocery store). Also, in other I-suck-sometimes-as-a-mom news, I didn't buckle Libby up to her car seat. Once we were on the road she told Daddy, "Oh, no, Daddy! Oh, no..."

So we stopped, of course. Emerson told me things I deserved. I know he was rightfully angry. I just want to say something for my children when they grow up and have children of their own...





Mommy and Daddy (that will be your new name once you'll have children, Libby and Enzo),

You are not perfect, and you will not be perfect even if you try. Actually, the more perfect you try to be, the more out of control you'll feel. The more in control you think you are, the more you'll hurt others and yourselves. Look... I have made many mistakes, like not buckling Libby up. Enzo, you fell from the bed because your dad thought you would be okay, and you hurt your eyelid recently because I wasn't paying attention to you when I came to the kitchen to get some water. When something like this happens, I have the tendency to feel guilty about it, over and over. But yesterday, I didn't. 

I took one minute to think about the things your dad said, but I'm happy to tell you I didn't take it all in. I didn't become the words your dad said, and I am so proud of myself. You know, I am spending more time with God lately. You need God if you want to be the best version of yourselves, children. You need God to guide you as parents. Seek Him. Do not let go of Him. Yesterday, I chose God's words over my guilt. I cried, yes, because I had made a huge mistake, a mistake that could have ended very badly. And when I was buckling Libby up, the first thing that came to mind was to thank Jesus for protecting physically both of you all the time. That's something I ask Him for EVERY SINGLE DAY.  





First waltz with prince Enzo





I didn't get sad or depressed, I let it go. And today, something similar happened. We went to our very MOPS meeting, and I was about to cry once I got inside. Really, I felt like crying for the first five minutes I was there.  So picture this... I am wearing shorts and tennis shoes, and have my legs all white because of the petroleum jelly I use for my dry skin. I was all sweaty and agitated for being on the phone with the insurance because your dad wanted me to make sure they were not gonna charge us a dime on Wednesday for the psychical exams. Then I drop you at your classrooms, and I run upstairs, and what do I see? I see perfectly dressed -and I mean perfectly dressed- moms. I looked down at my clothes. My shoes are worn off. My blue shirt, my goodness, I've had that shirt for years. I don't know why I haven't thrown it away... My shorts are all dirty (I realized that once we were there). And these women look so magazine-like. Plus they all know each other. They really looked cute and beautiful. No one was wearing sneakers. And all of them were wearing some kind of jewelry. Seriously all of them were dressed like clothing models. I felt I didn't belong there. I felt sad I had gone. I felt like crying and leaving without even saying hi to anyone. I made myself a cup off coffee because  after all, coffee could cheer anybody up...

And then I remembered what I've been telling you all this time. You are beautiful because God created you. I don't really know how it happened, I'm not gonna lie and tell you God told me that blah, blah... Well, I do believe it was the Holy Spirit reminding me of that truth.  But I also made a decision, quick, in my heart. I chose not to look at these women as better than me because they were wearing nice clothes (nicer than mine to be completely honest). But those clothes didn't make them better than me. Or worthier than me. Or more lovable to God than me. I didn't give into the temptation  Satan put in front of me. I didn't believe I wasn't beautiful because I wasn't wearing those cute clothes. And so I stayed. I'm glad I did. The subject of today was about comparing ourselves to other people, exactly what I had just done.





Getting better at taking pictures
Auto photo






At the beginning, starting up a conversation with the women at my table was kinda awkward because they knew each other already. Plus, I don't know if this is a regular thing all of us women do -specially when you spend all your day with your children- but there were so many women that they just talked, talked, talked, and didn't listen to you or what you had to say. I am one of those sometimes.  

But particularly this year, I mean, these last months, God has been pressing in my heart the fact that I have a purpose in life, and that even though I have both of you in my life, I can still be used. I mean, no offense, gays, but right now in my life I don't feel like going and preach salvation to the people of the world tagging a two year old and an infant along. Volunteering and helping in the ways I used to do before cannot be done anymore. That's why I am helping at BSF with the children. I want to believe I made a difference in some children's lives this week. And honestly, that's why I joined MOPS. 





The prince has grown :)





I want to reach out to women who may need help or a friend. They go there, and they seem so naturally put together, you know, like everything is perfect in their lives, but I wonder how many of those women actually are real, real friends with one another. It seems to me that many, not all of course, but many are only acquaintances of each other, but that's all. I mean, as it is, sometimes I feel like I don't have enough time during the day just to go hang out with someone at Target! Apparently it is a big hit in this MOPS group. But I want to be available, that's all. 

Don't compare yourselves to others, guys.  You are you. And you are beautiful just they way you are. On the ride home I told you how beautiful I felt once I stayed. The Bible says in James 1:22, "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. [...] whoever continues in it -not forgetting what they heard, but doing it- they will be blessed in what they do".




Climbing


El Gordito y la Gordita
At the playground











At Darcy's






I think my doing in this situation was believing what God has said about me. I stayed based on that. I got to "know" these women. As time passed, I forgot about my clothes. I knew I was just like them. I felt beautiful because I am beautiful, and mind you, I still knew they were dressed nicer than me. But I didn't let that come between my perception of beauty anymore. Because, as I've told you, God doesn't look at the outward appearance, God looks at the heart. I felt loved by God. I felt free to mention Jesus, and grace. MOPS is a Christian ministry, but none of these women talked about how God was working in their lives. So that makes me think, they either they don't like talking about Jesus openly, or maybe they are not even believers in Jesus. And so this is why I joined. Am I making any sense at all? I want to be available for God to use me at this stage in my life. Because it can be extremely convenient for me to rationalize that I am super busy raising you, and I am - make no mistake. Sometimes I don't even answer my cell because I just don't have time to talk on the phone for thirty minutes when people call. But at the same time I'm trying to let God use me. And I guess He'll provide opportunities if I make myself available.

So yo had to read all this to know that what your mom is really trying to say is that as parents we try to make as few mistakes as we possibly can, but inevitably I will make mistakes, like not buckling Libby up, but that doesn't mean I don't love you. You'll make those kind of mistakes, too. Those are mistakes that can happen to anyone. There is also sin involved besides mistakes. It wasn't a sin not buckling you up, Libby, but there are times when Mommy is angry or impatient or unkind, and I do sin against both of you. You will sin against your children, no matter how much you want to tell me you won't. 

But do not let your mistakes or your sins dictate who you are, gays. Once you believe in Jesus, once you make Him you Savior, He will help you with anything. That doesn't mean you won't struggle or you won't have battles to fight. Jesus never promised that. It means that in all the mess you can create for your lives, you will never be alone. You can conquer your fears and be a different person. You do have the power to change within you, because God is helping you, if you do not let go of Him. 

And that's all I have to say about that... 


Yours truly,

Mommy






At HEB enjoying free milk and a chip with guacamole



Back to my post, so some of these ladies have older children, playing sports and stuff. They are super busy and one of them takes them not only to one, but several sports because the children want to. I think they do soccer, baseball, and football. And I think they also take piano lessons, and one wanted to learn to play the violin. I just don't know if I want to be that busy as my children grow. I'm dragging my feet just to take them to BSF, I just can't imagine being their chauffeur as they go do all these extra curricular activities. I don't like that kind of busyness anymore. I loved it when I was in college, and I suffered, literally suffered, not having a job at the beginning when we moved to Ohio. But now, with my children, all I want is to spend quality time with them. I LOVE our slow-paced life. I really do. I understand there are moms who need to be on the go, go, go because their children go crazy around the house, or they just enjoy being outside, but not me. I guess, like in everything else, you just need to find a balance. Once you lose that balance, it is very easy to start feeling crazy.

That craziness I heard about yesterday helps me stand firm in my choice of not sending them (at least Libby for now) to any kind of preschool or mother's day out or whatever, until they really have to go, which I guess it will be when they are four.  And now that I think about it, I think we will just send  them twice a week because it is expensive! (And Emerson goes cha-ching, cha-ching). Interaction they are getting at BSF and MOPS, and their education depends on us. I mean, moral values and stuff that really shapes them into who they will become is taught at home, not at school.

Hmm... what else? Libby is talking more and more. She is not mute after all. She has more and more phrases that she says every day. Like, every time she wants dressing, when I take it out of the refrigerator she says, "Right here, Mama". The other day she gave a book to Emerson because he asked her if she wanted to read something and she said, "Read this one please, Daddy". She also calls Enzo like I call him, "Enzooooo, cooome, pleeeeeaaaaaase!". And she also tells me anything he does wrong like, "Enzo dropped the ball".



Caught with her hands in the cookie jar




Also, we have been having some trouble at night when it's time to go night, nights. Libby looooves reading her books. We go to the library and check out tons of them. I think I wrote she is into the farm lately. So this last time we checked out tons of books on farms, sheep, pig, cattle, chickens, the works. We also checked out stuff about our five senses, and the brain, and the digestive system. So... every night at bed time, we sing them songs, and read the devotional, and we pray. But after that she gets up, opens the closet, turns on the light and starts reading in the closet, or on her crib. We had been fighting it because Enzo cries, and even though sometimes he falls asleep, she keeps reading, and wakes him up. So yesterday we thought it was a good idea to just let her be. I mean, she stays up because she enjoys reading... but it was the worst idea possible.

It was 10:30 pm and she was still reading, plus I had the great idea of giving her some goldfish as a reward for having helped Enzo with some toys (she put away the ones that Enzo can choke with and played with the rest). But then, almost at 11 pm, we went in and told her it was enough, that she needed to go to bed, and she began crying, and crying, and crying. I tried to comfort her and she said, while in my arms, that she was choking. She said, "My throat, Mamma, my throat!". Nothing was wrong, she was just very, very tired. We left the room, and she began freaking out, really freaking out because we had told her it was time to quit. She was totally screaming like crazy, so angry that we had taken the books away. Then she opened the door and began yelling, "My throat, Mamma, my throat!! Mamaaaaa, I need water, Mammaaaaaaaaaa!!!".

I was laughing in the living room, because it seemed she was just overreacting, but I guess she was so upset, that when she finally came to the living room, she was covered in vomit, ans she kept on vomiting on my shoulder, and the kitchen floor. I had to change her pajamas, and asked her to calm down. We went to the bedroom, and Enzo was up. We had to change blankets and all, and the chair was all covered in vomit, too. I stayed with her until she feel asleep. It was just crazy. I'm of the idea that she has all the time during the day to read books, so when we say night, nights, I really mean night nights... We'll see tonight. She is disobeying. We spank her when she disobeys. I just feel bad about spanking her for being reading books. It's not like she is hitting me... well, she is doing something I asked her not to. Maybe Daddy will have to take this one for the team, because he is the good one around the house.



Enzo crying at night

Teeth are coming in
And sister's reading doesn't help



Can't nap because Sissy threw books in




Oh! By the way, Enzo took her first spanking the other day. It broke my heart because I think he is more sensitive than Elizabeth is when it comes to the sound of my voice or when I reprimand him. He just cries as soon as I raise my voice in a not approving tone ;(

I think that's it for now. I think I'll have more time to write, and more often. I deleted my Facebook account from my phone like a month ago, and I don't spend as much time as before looking at my phone. Actually, I don't look at my phone anymore. That's good, I needed to do that because my children were always looking at me looking at the cell phone, and I don't want them to see that. So no more phones distracting me from them. And yesterday, after the MOPS meeting, I had the conviction that I needed to get rid of Facebook, too, but in my computer. It was just something that needed to go. 

I'm always very particular of people who cannot quit drinking, or smoking. I know, I know... I am very black and white about certain things. Look, I understand it is an addiction. I had an addiction. I used to smoke. And I quit, just like that. One day I decided I was not gonna smoke anymore, and I never bought a pack of cigarettes again. So, it is possible to quit. I wasn't even a Christian back then, and I did. People say alcoholism is a disease... I don't know... Cancer is a disease, you have something in your own body attacking you, and killing you. I guess it's more mental than anything. Non-followers of Jesus quit all the time. Followers of Jesus have the means to do it easier. I know it is a struggle for everybody, Christians or not. It is possible to quit. I'm gonna shut my mouth now. 

Anyway, I had serious issues with Facebook, because I spent too much time on it, and I didn't even like it. I was just getting angry at people who are not even my real friends. Every time I past the computer, I needed to see it, even if I had seen it two minutes before. I just needed to let go of it, cut it from the root. It had to go. I deleted the account not even wanting to come back. And I asked Emerson to block the site for the next fifteen days so I cannot reactivate it. I just don't want to see it anymore. You need to do what you need to do to stop doing something you know you do that you want to stop doing. Did I make any sense at all?




First running shoes. Jun 7th, 2012.




Wanna stop smoking? Stop buying cigarettes to start. Period. Deal with the psychological issues that trigger your feeling of wanting to smoke. Wanna get rid of pornography addiction? I don't know, I guess that's heavier... You can still imagine things in  your head, but you can deal with them with God's help. I don't know how you would do it without Him honestly. But you can start by destroying every freaking magazine and computer in your house. Anyway... It's been only two days. And it sucks that I won't post photos anymore of my children for my family to see. I can still email those. And I won't chat with my sister in the mornings, but like I told her, I can chat on Google. It has to have some kind of messenger, doesn't it?

So, if Facebook was taking my time away, I had to let it go. It had been a while since I knew it had to go, but I didn't want to do that. I know it is not a big deal for everybody, but it was for me. I can use that time for something else that is worthier, like writing this, or actually being with my children [sarcasm]. I always felt a need to go and sit down in front of my computer. But now, every time I sit down, I realize I don't have Facebook anymore, so I don't waste 15 minutes every hour. 

By the way, we bought Libby new shoes today. Her size six were tight already. She was so, so excited that she began moving her arms, and her legs, and then suddenly BAM!! She comes and hits Enzo right on the face!! HA HA HA!! I asked her, "What is wrong? What did just happened?". I gave he a slap on her hand, and told her we don't hit brother under any circumstance. She apologized and kissed brother. And brother only laughed, of course, and "said" he forgave her. Emerson asked me what had happened once we left the store (he was paying when this happened), and I told him. He laughed. He asked me if I had never been so excited I felt like hitting someone. I laughed, too, because I have. I knew she was terribly excited. Still, I cannot let her know it is okay to hit when extremely happy, because it is not, even if you feel like it.




Enzo's first time coloring




Saturday morning we sang this song to Libby and Enzo on our bed, it's an hymn from BSF...


Good morning, God!
This is your day, I am your child, show me your way!!!



When she was trying to take a nap (which didn't happen) she was singing it. She is exhausted. It's almost 9:30 pm and still she is not out for the night. What can I do? I love her so much. Enzo is awake, but not crying. I'll just chill with Daddy... 




I love you, Emerson. More than I can tell you. I wouldn't change anything in our lives. I would do it all over again. All of it :)




New shoes... Sept 14th, 2013. 



























lunes, 9 de septiembre de 2013

Ready to have kids? San Antonio 2013.



I am blessed to have the family I have. I've said this too many times on this blog probably, but I felt like saying it again. 



The trip to San Antonio was fun, and sometimes stressful. Mostly, when we were on our own we wad a great time - always. But it was a trip with friends from our small group, so sometimes we all tried to do stuff together, and then it was that it became stressful. One of my biggest struggles in life was that for a long time I was a people pleaser. I tried to make people like me and love me at any cost, and I did a lot of stupid stuff. So I thought that because we had gone to San Antonio as a group, we needed to do things as a group.



Long Trips with Toddlers
1. Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly. Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy. Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.
2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.
You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.



At least in my family that's the way it was. I remember vacationing on my mom's time share, with my cousins, aunts, and uncles. We always did the same things together. If my mom said we were going to place A, all of us had to go to place A. All. Of. Us. I don't know for sure, but maybe she would've had her feelings hurt if people didn't do what she said, after all she had organized the trip, and paid pretty much for everything for everyone.


Ride to San Antonio

(Saturday morning. Used Civic to save gas. No minivan's TV = Lots of crying.)


Before
After







After
Before















I was a child, but I still remember my parents arguing with my uncle, and stuff like that. I didn't really care about it, I was happy to be all day long in the pool with my cousins. My mom would bring us lunch to the pool. We would get out, eat, and rest for 20 minutes to digest so we wouldn't drown - yeah, like digestion takes place in 20 minutes- and off we went to the pool again. But I guess it was stressful for the adults to hang out all the time if they didn't feel like hanging out. We were also older than my children are, so probably it wasn't that stressful after all, who knows... but we would always leave the hotel super late to go to the beach because my uncle was a lazy bum according to my dad.



Rain Forest Cafe

(Lunch on Saturday, as soon as we got to San Antonio)


She likes fishes
Family 







Big Monkey





The men in her life
Happy with her flower



Watching the monkey
With Enzito



"Hi! You might recognize me from the alphabet"



So I'm glad I got to talk with Dana - she organized the trip- after we came back, and I apologized for my behavior, which was off most of the time we were hanging out as a group. I was very stressed out when we were together, mostly because of my children. They are ticking bombs, you never know when things might go wrong... but let me try to explain you my perspective on hanging out with couples who have no children yet.

I might be probably the only woman who feels this way, but when I didn't have children I enjoyed not having children, specially when other people's children were misbehaving. And I was very selfish... so if I was with my friends (all of them had children in Ohio) I never offered to help with their children. Like, I thought, "Well, they are their children, right? They need to take care of them".

Sure, I baby sat every now and then for them, and I actually remember Miss Ava asking me how Satan looked like... ha ha ha!! I think she was about four years old. I thought, "Crap, what the heck am I supposed to tell her? What if I screw this child who's not even my own? Mary never said I would be asked these questions. She just said put them down to sleep..." 

And so I sat down next to her on her bed (this was at bed time), and said, "Look, Ava... I do not know how Satan looks like. But I tell you how he doesn't look like. He is not this funny cartoon you see on TV, you know, red with horns, and a tail and a fork. Satan hates us, he really does because we love Jesus. As you grow up, he might look different every time... BUT, we shouldn't focus on Satan, let's talk about Jesus instead. Never be afraid of Satan because you have Jesus. You don't have to be afraid of Satan, do you understand? Jesus loves you. And if you have Jesus, Satan has no power over you whatsoever." 



Hotel Room

(After Rain Forest)


Pure happiness in this trip




Mi ñoñis en acción
Awesome pencil grasp


Pericles Hanz...ome



So cute, it's not even fair...
She rocks my hat






My prayer from 2012. Romans 12:10. That they will love each other with brotherly love



So answering questions about Satan, and other kind of episodes, like Kahl spanking me this one time and saying in Ethan's tone of voice, "Alright!!" made me feel intensely happy these were not my children. Even happier every time I saw Jesse throwing a tantrum, or Kahl screaming his lungs out because he didn't want to go night nights. I'm confessing these to my two best friends, Mary and Kate, for the very first time. I know they love me so much they would totally understand how I felt at that time of my life being childless, and totally selfish due to my childlessness. 

So now I'm at the point, where I know how people feel or might feel in regards to my children. And Dana and Anita are very kind when they try to help, but in all honesty, I don't think anybody who is not a parent knows how stressful it can be at times, even tough they say they understand. They just don't. I love my children to death, and if they throw a tantrum I'm not embarrassed of them because those things happen sometimes. But I just don't want to be the center of attention in a restaurant, especially if my children are acting like this because it's almost 10 pm.

So get this picture on Saturday night...

Norvis and Anita knocked on our door and said they were going for dinner. They gently invited us to join them and we said yes, because we wanted to hang out with them. Norvis said the restaurant was two blocks away from The Alamo, and off we went thinking we'll be back at the hotel by 8:30 pm, but the restaurant was one mile away. ONE MILE AWAY!! That was not two blocks from The Alamo. It wasn't not even in the downtown area, but in some ghetto neighborhood, and here we are walking pushing a double stroller. And I've said this to Norvis' face, joking around, but seriously, I told him. So don't think I'm talking behind Norvis' back.

We get to the restaurant and it's not the regular family place, so the waiters say they don't have high chairs for the children, because other people are using them. Really? So you're a restaurant and you just have two high chairs? Then Anita says I should leave them in the stroller, that way they could eat. But I felt what I really wanted was Anita to get on the stroller for almost all day like them, sweating under the sun for being in the stroller almost all day like them, wanting to go to sleep and being hungry, and then having to ride for thirty minutes to this restaurant and eat in the stroller. It wasn't Anita's nor Norvis' fault. We chose to go with them. When you have children, your life changes. You do not do things only thinking about yourself anymore. You do it for the greater good, I guess. You do it for the good of the pack, aka Libby and Enzo.




The Alamo 

(Saturday evening)


Some weeds


Smiling
Enzo's fake smile

Daddy loves his girl
She is my girl, too

Beso trompa
Muack

Stretching
"Wate, wateeee"


No comment




Cannon
My babies














Sweaty babies



Trying on hats
Family at the garden













Then my husband gets upset, because they are making us wait, and it's already 8 pm. We are waiting and we don't know if they are gonna have high chairs. He tells me we should go, that we should just leave, and come back to the Riverwalk and have some ice cream as we had told the children. And here I am embarrassed to say, "You know what guys? We are gonna leave. We came all the way here, but see ya!". So we stayed... and it was awful. My children never cried, or made a big scene, but I know how they act when they are totally exhausted, and Libby was being extremely rough with Daddy and Enzo.

Food was the only thing keeping Enzo happy so I stuffed him like a pig. They ate more than enough, but I wasn't going to keep giving them food. We were done eating, but people didn't even have their food yet. Then Emerson and I weren't even hanging out with people, we were trying to control our little monsters, and you don't get to hang out as much when you are entertaining your children. It was just awkward. The waitress came and she told me to take my time, but I handed her my credit card, "Nop, I'm ready to go. Now.", I said. And we left, in a hurry, just like that. We said bye, but I guess, in a way, for me that was the point of no return. Oh, the drama of my first world problems...




Conversations
1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.
2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.
You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.



On the way to the hotel I apologized to Emerson for me not listening to reason. He didn't want to go to San Antonio in the first place, but I got him to go because I couldn't say no to my friend Dana. I mean, she had paid already for the rooms and stuff with her time share, and I wanted to have fun with everybody. But our family fun is not their fun. Norvis and Ana left the restaurant at 10:30 pm. that night, they danced and enjoyed their time together as a couple. I was very happy when she told me that the next day. If we didn't have children, we would've stayed with them. And then come back to the Riverwalk, get a drink, or just walk looking around for things you can see... we are all about walking.   




Dinner in a hurry

(Saturday night before dinner)



"This should be enough" 






Trying Goldfish
Mommy giving fishies





Horsie, horsie





Eating like a pig 
Roughness in her face




So we came back to the hotel, and by the time we put them down to sleep, it was 10:30 pm. We drank a couple of beers, and hung out. I tried to ask Emerson what we were doing the next day, but he said he was on vacation and that he didn't have a plan. That drives me crazy... but at the same time, it is exactly that what I enjoy when we go out. I'm not trying to control everything that happens anymore, and it feels good to go with the flow. I mean, we do what's necessary for our children, to make them comfortable, but other than that, we always go with the flow in this kind of situations. 

Libby and Enzo woke up at 6 am... I wanted to call Ana or Dana around 10 am., we were ready to go. We had been ready since 8 am, since our children were up that early, but we were kind of killing time. That's the thing with children. They get you up, we don't get to sleep in. So if they were ready, we had to get out of the room. 

But I did have my coffee in the morning, and I got to spend time with Libby and Enzo having Cheerios. I even got to take a shower and getting dressed without having to hurry up, because Emerson was taking care of everything. He made the children a smoothie, put everything in the dishwasher. I didn't feel I was the caretaker. My husband was taking care of us. I felt freaking awesome. I felt loved.




Smoothie Emerson's version


"Mo? EEE? Yesss!"






Nena eating Cheerios
Mommy having her coffee in peace












"I love you so much, Nena"


Mama






We walked towards San Fernando Cathedral and let the children play in the water for a while. Then we kept on walking towards the Market Square because we wanted to have lunch at Mi Tierra, but it was too crowded. Libby was so happy walking. I think we as adults see things different from children. Duh! I mean, I honestly think that for her it was just enough that we let her walk almost all the time. That's what made the trip worth it in her eyes. We stopped for awhile to have a talented man make some caricatures of them, and then we had lunch. Libby walked almost all the way there and back. I actually started the app I use for my runs, and she logged two miles. At a 55 min/mi. pace, but she walked it all :)



Going for a walk
a. Wait.
b. Go out the front door.
c. Come back in again.
d. Go out.
e. Come back in again.
f. Go out again.
g. Walk down the front path.
h. Walk back up it.
i. Walk down it again.
j. Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
k. Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.
l. Retrace your steps.
m. Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
n. Give up and go back into the house.
You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.



Walking

(Sunday morning)



Loving the water




Very cold
Getting all wet

Happy
Playing with Sissy





Jumping in the water




Enzo posing
Libby posing

Mommy is happy


Aug. 31st, 2013. Enzo
Aug 31st, 2013. Libby. 















We should advertise for NB
That's love and trust in our faces




We wanted to make them tired so they could take a good nap before heading to Sea World to see Shamu. But only Enzo napped. After almost two hours, he woke up, and we headed towards Sea World. We would've loved to get there earlier, especially because the tickets are not cheap... but there was no way, NO WAY, I was gonna make my children stick around for 8+ hours under the sun, just to see a whale. It's not like they were going to ride any rides, or that we would leave them with Dana or Ana to go ride the rides. So we met everybody there. We were able to hang out for little amounts of time here and there, some shows got cancelled, and we left because we needed to watch Shamu at 7:30 pm. I think Ana, Norvis, Dana and Chino watched the 9 pm show. It was totally awesome. I don't care how expensive it was, my husband does, probably. But just to watch a show of that category - my weird words here- it was pretty well worth it. I've seen Keiko before, but I don't remember Reino Aventura having that kind of shows. 

I remember when I went to Reino Aventura as a teenager all I wanted was to ride the rides ALL DAY LONG. Why would someone waste their time watching the dolphins, and the sea lions, and the stupid whale? Who would do that if they had the rides to enjoy? Now I know the answer:  Parents who look at their children's faces when they see the stupid whale. Plus the whale it's not the stupid one. I was the stupid one for not realizing how much time and energy trainers put into those animals doing that kind of acrobatics. And people say the show doesn't change much year to year. DUH!! I want you to train a whale to do something different year to year. It's pretty amazing. It was really fun.     



Sea World

(Sunday afternoon)



Exhausted. She finally crashed when we got there

Con mi Papucho
I think I relived my childhood here

Getting ready









Family with Shamu




Building expectation on Shamu


















Shamu 2013

























After Shamu soaked Elizabeth and Enzo in water, I tried to explain Libby what Shamu had done.  While the show was still going - it was about to finish- I told Libby Shamu only wanted to have fun. I told Libby that Shamu didn't know she doesn't like the water in her eyes. I don't use the word hate a lot, I think I've said that before, but Libby hates to have water in her eyes. She screams at bath time if a tiny amount of water gets in her eyes. So I just said that Shamu lives underwater and wanted to share her water with us. Libby calmed down, as if really understanding that. 

I wasn't going to say, "Your daddy thought that because the ground was dry we weren't going to get wet. Only he forgot that at the 5 pm whale show, they don't show the biggest whale."

She was happy after I took the time to explain that to her. She even said she forgave Shamu :)



Shamu soaking my children







"Bye, bye, Shamu"






By 8 pm I was starving. We had had lunch at the hotel, the leftovers from Rain Forest the day before. We bought two pretzels at Sea World, 4 dollars each. How do they away with this? Those pretzels sucked! Buy we were hungry, so there you go, just to entertain our children's stomachs and ours, too.

We stopped to have Rudy's for dinner, it was just outside Sea World, literally, across the highway. Even during dinner she was still saying Water, Shamu, and My face.



Conversations with children
Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.



The Art of eating Ribs







Shamu was a hit





We were so devastated we were gonna miss Breaking Bad for watching Shamu, but AMC repeated the episode at 11 pm. The children, by the way, didn't even cry this time when we put them in the pack 'n plays. They were totally exhausted from that day, and the day before. They slept from 10:30 pm till 8 am next morning. SWEEEEET!



OUT!
OUT! And wearing Libby's pajamas :)





Next morning we got ready and around 10:30 am we checked out from the hotel. We called Ana and Dana to see if they wanted to see the other missions, besides The Alamo, but they were having lunch somewhere, and we had just had breakfast. We went to Mission San José. There were three other missions we were going to see, but Emerson felt pretty content with San José. It was really something. So he said that we should just get on the road so that the children could sleep a little bit. We had lunch at ChickFilA, and we headed home. 




Mission San José  

(Monday morning)


The most beautiful hostess

My boys
Nice arches?










Looks The Exorcist-creepy

Walking away with ducky's face
Thinking


"We have to go, Mami"
"Bye, bye"


Sept. 2nd, 2013. Mission San José

Pony tail
"My hat"











The loves of my life



Somewhere along the way, before the children fell asleep, Emerson promised Libby he was going to take her to a farm. But we couldn't make it on time to the farm he was talking about. However, he did keep his promise, and we took her to a farm near our apartment. She was happy to see the cows, and some goats. At ChickFilA they had given them these cow watches, and she was supper excited about it. 

Even when they went to sleep that night she was crying and saying, "My cow, Mommy, my cow!!". I thought she was having a nightmare! "Darn Old McDonald videos! It's the only thing she likes to watch", I thought. But it was until the next day that I realized she was asking for her watch. 

On the way back they slept for about two hours both of them, in the same position. I felt happy they were resting because they really needed it. Enzo got up just as we got to the usual spot in Chappell Hill where we always have pie and ice cream whenever we go out of town. We woke Libby up, ate ice cream with pie, and came home :)



Resting
Resting, too












Once home, I gave them baths while Emerson put things away, and did laundry. We brushed Enzo's tiny teeth for the first time. Yay!


First time brushing Enzo's teeth

(Sept. 2nd, 2013)












In case you forgot the opening line for this post, I'll write it again: I am blessed to have the family I have. I've said this too many times on this blog probably, but I felt like saying it again. 

I love my husband, and his love for me goes beyond telling me he loves me. He goes to work everyday to make sure I don't lack anything. He took care of me that morning at the hotel, and I really felt relaxed drinking my coffee. We are a team and I can really see it, specially when working around the house and taking care of the children. He knows it is his job, too. Yes, I do nag him sometimes, but he listens to my needs, and addresses them because that's what you do when you love someone. Like, when I need him to dress Enzo up after a bath, or put the children to bed because I'm going for a run, or taking care of the children when I'm not home, or just taking Libby grocery shopping with her own HEB shopping cart. 

Enzo and Libby are children now, and so young. I don't think they will ever remember this trip, if not by the photos and the things I wrote. 




Dressing Small Children
1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hangout.
Time Allowed: 5 minutes.

Grocery Shopping
1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.



Nena and Enzo, 

I want you to know that I love you with all my heart. And I enjoy every single minute of my life with you, even if I don't sleep well that night. I love being your mother and raising you. I was very confused growing up thinking my life's accomplishments depended on how many years I was able to study, or how many degrees I would get. I was very confused thinking education was the same as wisdom. You are making me wiser. You make me cling to God, the Giver of all wisdom. God is using both of you to shape my character. He is refining me. I am a better version of myself now that I was 10 years ago. Not perfect, never perfect, but more patient, and tolerant and kind. More loving, and faithful. More self-controlled. Way more self-controlled. I owe that to you, gays :)

God is using you to help me. Don't you think God has great plans in storage JUST for you? I think He does. I think He does.   




*Tests from online article Are you ready to have kids? After you read this, maybe not. At www.news.com.au