Christmas 2013

Nobody wants to read a Christmas post where the author struggles with her own faith - or so I think. You can still look at the photos, though.

The truth is that for a little over a month now, I've been questioning my beliefs about God, Jesus, and Heaven. Help me figure this out. I believe my beliefs are true, but my question has been, "How do I know they are true for sure?"

Putting it together

Taking the tree out of the box

All this nonsense about whether or not Jesus is who He says He is came to happen because we are moving to India. I'll explain. In my efforts to know more about their culture and cuisine, I checked out many, MANY books about Hinduism, Buddhism and Islam from the library. I just wanted to know what people ate, how they dressed, how they behaved, but most importantly, what they believed. I don't know about you, but I don't wanna live in a place for a year or more without having basic information about the things they do, and why. Not that I will agree with those things, or will do them myself, but just to... know. Am I making sense?

Emerson says we will be there only a year, but then he thinks that his project will be so interesting that if he succeeds in everything he has in mind, a year won't be enough. Honestly, I'm like, "Whatever, what difference does it make? If we moved already, let's just stay longer...". It doesn't cause any conflict in my head to live in India longer than a year. Ha! At least not for now. But if you are moving ALL the way there, it would be nice to stay longer. You really get to know the culture that way. A year would not have been enough for us to know the American culture. We have been here for six years now, and a big change won't be bad for me. I'm waaay Americanized (read spoiled).

The ornament that changed our lives

On December 2011, we filled an ornament with a wish for 2012. We never revealed our wishes to each other... until I got pregnant in January. That's when we opened the little pieces of paper, and saw that we both wanted to have a baby :)

Enzo likes the lights

Ready for the topper

At night

Anyways... Case in point with knowing the culture you are moving to:  A month ago we went to this Indian restaurant, I think I wrote that in a post. The owner asked us something about Libby, and he referred to her as a boy. I could understand that when Libby was a baby, but now you can clearly tell she is a girl, right? Long hair, that sweet smile, the earrings... but he was very clear when he addressed her several times as a boy. Had I not read about this ritual of them, I could have been upset. They do some kind of haircut ceremony. It's something they do because they associate the hair you are born with with things from past lives (they believe in reincarnation). So if you do not cut the child's hair by age one, you wait until age three (for boys). Not that we are Indian, but I don't know,  sometimes I think in my own terms when I'm talking to people. This man might have thought Libby was a boy because of how her hair looked. Specially after he asked me how old she was.

Letting them play with my nativity set

Everybody is taking a nap

Another example. People have told us that Indian people are really friendly. They (I don't know if all of them, but some) may try to make you feel at home. I know this for a fact because I used to tutor some Indian children. The moms were very friendly (not in an American friendly way, if that makes sense at all. It's something I can't explain right now). And they were also very respectful. Their homes looked different, and smelled different. Both of these families had a whole room dedicated to worship in their houses. Several times I saw altars, and things on the altar. At that time I had no idea what I was looking at. Now I know -thanks to the books- that they bathe their idols/gods with honey, milk, and yogurt to keep them as clean and neat as possible.

Years ago I would've humpfed like a sour kangaroo at this picture. But now, I don't wanna go to somebody's house if invited, and have a look on my face of What the heck is going on?? if suddenly they bring the figurines and begin cleansing them. I do want to show respect for what they believe in. Whether or not I acknowledge that as true has no importance at that moment. I want to win the people. Love them. Get to know them. I really do. I've been asking God to give me a heart for them. 

Ok, so... after all this reading about their culture, I came across this story about their god Ganesh. They have many gods, but one that I had seen before is the elephant-headed one. I began reading the story. I won't give you a lot of details, but basically, okay... I'll tell you the story as short as I can.

Making cookie dough

My daughter's cookies

Decorating cookies

VERY focused

*How Ganesh got his elephant head**

Shiva, the god of destruction, married the goddess Parvati. He was kind of a rebel, and she loved him just the way he was. The only time she really got mad at him was when he interrupted her bath without warning. She wanted to relax, and this wasn't possible when Shiva acted this way. So she made a figure boy from sandalwood paste to protect her door. Then, she took a breath, and blew life into it. 

I closed the book. "This is freaking crazy, you cannot do that!". But then the sour kangaroo in my pouch said, "Really? What about your own beliefs? You believe that God created Adam from the dust of the ground, and He breathed into this man the breath of life." (Genesis 2:7)  

Remember this is all me, having conversations with myself :)

- Well... yeah... but this is God we are talking about here. God did create Adam like that. 

- How do you know? How do you know Parvati did not create this chubby boy as well?

- Well, I don't believe this happened. This is just a story for children. The book looks like stories for children about the elephant god.

- Libby has a book that looks exactly the same, with pictures of Adam and God creating him.

- Fuuuuuuuuudge...

Final product

Cookies for Jesus

I continued reading the book, but after I finished I just felt weird. And I've felt weird until about two weeks ago when something happened. I'll tell you later, of course. 

During the time between me reading the book and reading about Hinduism, and Islam, and all that, Emerson and I had a conversation about all this. It wasn't too long, of course. He said those are their beliefs, and we should respect them. They worship a boy with an elephant head, but for all they know, we, as Christians, follow a zombie. Think about it.

Jesus is the Son of God. Jesus is God, then. I do believe so. Human Jesus died, and he rose from the dead three days later ---> Jesus is a zombie. A nice zombie, but still a zombie in their eyes. I am just speculating. I am not implying people actually believe this. But it makes sense. 

Tea set from The Gonzales'

Enzo being mean to his sister :(

By the way, they also believe that gods sometimes came down to earth in different forms which they call avatars. Some Hindus might actually see Jesus as an avatar of Brahma, their god of creation. Whaaaat the heeeck is going on people? When did Jesus become an avatar?!

You see my point? The more I read, the more confused I was getting. I believe what I believe becasue I believe is true. Libby sings about God creating the heavens and the earth because I am raising her to believe that. A Hindu girl will grow up worshiping Vishnu and other many gods, and bathing them, because that what she sees everyday. 

And I can argue with you all my blog long, trying to show you that the power of the Holy Sprit was what make Jesus come back to life, and that he defeated Satan in hell. And I put my hands on fire, because I do believe so. But if you are as skeptical of my faith, as I am of other faiths, then all you hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah....

You don't believe me about Jesus. You don't believe me because you already made up your mind that it isn't true. I totally understand that. You don't believe me as I don't believe in Ganesh, the elphant-headed god. The same with Allah. Some might argue Mohumadd is the last prophet of God, and that the angel Gabriel appeared to him, and then he wrote the Quran. I've been reading it, too. It's a really interesting book, and we (followers of Jesus) might seem to share many things with them. But I don't give the Quran any authority over the Bible.

I guess my point is everybody chooses to believe in something. It is a matter of choice.

Libby's crafts for Daddy

Christmas hand-made ornaments

Big Christmas card for Daddy

But let me continue with the story because I did finished reading it...

So the boy (later called Ganesh) guarded his mother's door so she could have a nice bath. He didn't let Shiva in, nor Nandi. The boy was growing more and more powerful because no one was able to get in to see Parvati. Even the other gods began being concerned about his behavior. They felt afraid of losing their god status because of this boy. So Shiva decided that the boy had to be gone. 

Pretty much all hell broke loose in heaven. Parvati was furious saying this was an injustice. She turned into the fierce Nav Durga -a frightening goddess who could multiply her body over and over again- and she helped her son. Now the gods were really concerned; they were fighting against each other because of this boy. They wanted to kill him. And Shiva finally killed him, he chopped his head off. 

Parvati watched in horror. The boy she had created and loved was dead. Her son had acted with unquestioning devotion, defying the most powerful gods to protect her privacy. He had only done as she wished. Parvati's anguish was equaled by an implacable anger. The terrifying form of the goddess Kali sprang from her forehead. She showed no mercy. She began destroying everything out of anger since her boy was killed. The other gods tried to calm her down, but she wanted her son back, otherwise heaven would be ripped to pieces. 

While all this was happening, the people on earth had lots of trouble of their own. The gods and goddesses were too busy fighting Parvati. They had no time to help mere mortals with day-to-day questions and problems. So Vishnu had to bring the boy back to life, and long story short, he chose an elephant. The boy came back to life with an elephant head. And so they named the boy Ganesh, and made him the god to help people in trouble or in need.   

THE END.

** How Ganesh got his elephant head. Johari, Harish. 2003.

Tea Party

I'll address my children from now on...

Enzo and Libby,

You don't have much to choose from right now. You choose grapes over strawberries at breakfast. Well, you actually choose to obey or disobey, with costly consequences sometimes over your bottoms. Enzo, you are very mean to Sissy sometimes. My boy, I've been teaching you this is unacceptable from a man. You are to treat your sister and me with respect. I need to train you to be an honorable man, and a good husband. No real man will ever hit a woman. Trust me: Your wife will love me FOREVER. But right now, your bottom is suffering :(

Children, as you grow up, you'll soon discover that this world has many, many things to offer. Some are beneficial, others are not. 

All this time I have stressed over and over and over that you don't have to follow Jesus. Libby, you are the one talking right now. You get upset when I say you don't have to follow Jesus. You always say, "I follooooooow, Jesuuuuuuus!!". But there will be a point in your life when both of you will question who you are following. You might as well ask yourselves if that person is worth following. 

Enzo at The Rodriguez's Christmas Party

I've been wondering about God and Jesus. You know, my beliefs came stronger after I wondered for a while. You'll have to go through those kind of moments, too. Moments when you have to choose if you are going to live your live based on what you believe to be the truth, or if you are going to live it based on what other people say is good, or what other people do. You know, if you are going to do X, because everybody is doing X. 

My whole life has been reorganized based on my beliefs about God and Jesus. My kindness towards people, my passion in being a mother to you.  

According to your Daddy...

I was unreasonably jealous and immature about my jealousy, which was annoying. I'm still selfish like any human being, but before, I was all like, 'What's in it for me?' Now, I don't think about myself at all, which is also sick, but Daddy thinks it's better. I'm also more rational because I don't burst into anger. And nothing to do with Jesus, but guess what, guys? I CAN COOK!!  This is MY biggest accomplishment, according to your Daddy :)

My patience, controlling my tongue when I'm mad at you. My behavior toward the opposite sex, my outlook at life troubles. My love for myself, and my love for your dad. Everything has changed based on the belief that Jesus is the Son of God. I live my life based on the belief that there is only one true God. The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. The Father of Jesus.   

Libby's new doll

Thanks for introducing her to Barbies, Gloria and Bella ;)

I cried at church the other day because I try to live my faith in a world who makes fun of me. I actually know that that's the way it is supposed to be. Jesus warned us (John 15). But it is not fair. What is all this political correctness in the US you hear about all day long? So they can make fun of me, a Christian, but if someone makes fun of a Muslim, then everybody gets offended? That's not fair. But life is not fair, my boy and my girl. In this life, shit happens...

My point is this: As you grow up, you'll be offered many options. Options you will choose based on what you believe to be true. There are choices that will not impact your life in a drastic way, you know?, like, "Should I wear jeans or shorts?" But others options will, like, "Should I have sex with this guy/girl just because we want to?" 

In the logical, objective sense, religion is man made. That is why there are so many. You may want to choose one. You might not.  At some point in your life I expect you to question my faith. I've been raising you to believe in a guy named Jesus, who came to be your Savior.  Is He really your Savior?  You tell me. I expect you to do it because you both are very, very smart. I want you to question it, and have an answer of your own because I don't want you to follow my faith only because I say it's true. Use your God-given brains, please. 

Not a good start for the family picture :S

Religions out there are like a nice buffet. You can pick and choose. There are many. You question Christianity, well, then go ahead and look what's on the menu. I've read enough about some of the ones available to know that Christianity makes the most sense to me. With all this reading about India, Hinduism, Islam, etc., I just thought that I want to be offered REAL HOPE.

HOPE. HOPE. HOPE. Not wishful thinking. REAL HOPE.

I want to be loved, to be cherished, to be forgiven for the things I know I do wrong. I don't want to reincarnate. This earthly life is such a drag to be lived over, and over, and over. I want to serve a God who loves me, who deeply cares about me, and who is not too busy doing god-things that He has no time for me. At the same time, I want to serve a God who is like a father to me. Someone who can forgive me, and help me. Someone that I know will have my back no matter how bad I mess up in my earthly life. 

I want to know that I will go to heaven when I die.  I cannot live a perfect life. I know it. So I want assurance that no matter what I do, I can be forgiven, and promised eternal life. I want to be happy forever one day. I don't want to be second guessing if the god I serve will be merciful enough to forgive me. I don't want to do rituals many times a day towards a building, and feel guilty about not doing them. I don't want that god changing his mind at the very last minute and sending me to hell. 

Enzo throwing a tantrum

Everything will be okay...

I don't want to change my behavior in hopes it will help me, but never knowing for sure if the scale will tilt in my favor. Heck... I cannot even remember day-to-day things, how will I track my good versus my bad deeds? I want to change my behavior because changing it is a direct result of the love I feel for my God. I want to obey out of love, not out of obligation. I want to follow someone because I want to, not because I have to. I want to be inspired, not forced. When I do things out of obligation, they don't last for a long time. They feel like a burden, and when I stop doing them, guilt is all that remains.

I don't want to live with guilt. 

I don't want to be God's salesman, either. I want to live my faith in such a way that people will be drawn, not coerced. I want to offer tangibility to my faith. People need to know that my God is real, and personal. Long story short... If I am going to follow a god, and go full blast, I want that god to be worth changing my life for. 

Christmas 2013

Then I heard this song. I listened to it in the car, just when I was wondering all these things, over, and over... Just read it, and listen to it on YouTube. The link might not be there when you are 20, but there will always be a new YouTube page with the song, you know?

 HOW MANY KINGS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zF952rzG3Yk

Follow the star to a place unexpected

Would you believe, after all we've projected,
A child in a manger?
Lowly and small, the weakest of all
Unlikeliest hero, wrapped in his mother's shawl -
Just a child -
Is this who we've waited for? 'cause...

How many kings step down from their thrones?
How many lords have abandoned their homes?
How many greats have become the least for me?
And how many gods have poured out their hearts
To romance a world that is torn all apart
How many fathers gave up their sons for me?

[    This is what won me over   ~     Mom   ]

Bringing our gifts for the newborn Savior
All that we have, whether costly or meek
Because we believe.
Gold for his honor, and frankincense for his pleasure
And myrrh for the cross he will suffer
Do you believe?
Is this who we've waited for?

All for me...
All for you...

I want THIS kind of God. A God who loves the world so much that He was willing to give up His own Son for me. He gave it all up for me. For me, and for you, guys!! 

Nena

Looking somewhere...

Fixing her dress

So happy ;)

A God who had it all, and gave it all up for me. I am not perfect, Libby and Enzo . I raise my voice at you almost every day because you drive me crazy most of the time, but I would give my life for you if someone wanted to harm you. 

I want a God who would do the same for me. Hands down. God became one of us. He gave. His love is so wide and long, high and deep... He is able to do more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power in Christ Jesus (Ephesians 3:18)...

Look, guys, it is a choice. A choice that will impact your life forever. Even if at the end of my life, everything I believed about Jesus was a joke, I would still follow Jesus now, because following Jesus is the best choice in the available menu. I follow Him. I adore Him. 

But you are the one eating. So YOU choose.

Getting upset 

Enzo is still...

Love this picture ;)

So now that I took everything out of my system... Yes, I do believe what I believe, and I'm thankful for Jesus and celebrating His birthday. YAY!!

We spent Christmas' Eve at The Rodriguez's house with their family, after going to church. Libby got a movie, and a Barbie: Princess Belle. Enzo got some stacking blocks. We ate tamales, stuffing, turkey, glazed ham, bread, soda, salad, pecan pie, raspberry pie, apple pie...

After dinner (around 9 pm) Enzo took a nap until 10:30 pm. when we left. We had a great time celebrating with them. Libby had so much fun, she read her books, and she was super polite ALL the time. Everybody was saying how good children they are, and I felt really thankful for my husband and my children.

We came back and we spent the night together in their room. Emerson put up the smaller tent, we prayed, and then camped with Libby. I slept on a cot, or at least I tried. Libby and Enzo didn't go to sleep until 12 am... that's when I left the room and came to sleep on the couch. I got back in their room at 5 am, and Libby woke up at 8 am. She woke us all up ;)

Drinking tea

After we woke up I made tea, and actually used my China set. I told Libby we were going to make real tea, and she would drink some. I made lemon tea for her and Enzo. We sang Happy Birthday to Jesus, and we finally ate the cookies!! They hadn't had a cookie in two days, because I kept on telling them those were for Jesus first. Then we opened all the presents. 

They got presents from my parents, Emerson's parents, and us. Libby got a farm, a US puzzle, spelling cards and a science kit. Enzo got books from Dr. Seuss, legos, musical instruments. Daddy got a book, a craft and the movie The Elf. I got a sweeeeeet running watch that I can't wait to use because I'm training for a race!!!

So many toys

Cards

Libby shared her farm

The Farm

Books

Opening her present

Enzo shared his toys, too

El Niño del Tambor

Treasures in heaven, by The Nunez's Band

Enzo has been taking a nap since 12 pm, and Libby just fell asleep. Emerson and I watched The Elf. That movie is awesome! It just makes me laugh so much. I'm very happy I bought it for Emerson. So we are just chilling right now, and enjoying each other. 

Merry Christmas, everyone! 

My Favorite part from The Elf

40 hours without Daddy around...

I could easily become an alcoholic if I were a widow... I don't mean any disrespect to widows or single moms. I actually think it is such a difficult job they have. 

I've missed Emerson so much these last couple of days, and Emerson...


I wish I could tell you I miss how you hug me at night, and kiss me as soon as you get home, but I've mostly missed you here because taking care of these two on my own is exhausting. I'm sorry, Papucho Mayor. I do miss your hugs, though. Libby and Enzo have been very good children. Well, you know, Enzo cries all the time. He got in trouble today several times for hitting me, and pushing Sister. Libby got a spanking today at 4 am for looking at me straight in the eye, and lying to my face (I was so mad). She said she had pooped, and yelled at me to change her diaper. After several times of me asking her, she kept on telling me she had pooped. And when I saw nothing on her diaper, I just spanked right there  for lying. I felt bad, but then she said, "Oh, the poop is coming in a little bit". It never came!!

I miss you. I like it a lot when you tell me how you fell in love with me right away, even before we were actually dating, you know, officially :S And when I drink wine on my own, I get all teared up at the idea of me having to raise two children by myself. I cried tonight -just two tears- when I was reading them a good night story, because Libby said you had to read "Devotions a day", and I said, "Daddy is not here. I miss your Daddy so much..."

Barrington's Farm

(1850's celebration of Christmas with gunshots) 

Anyway... I don't think this is a regular post. I just wanted to let out some things. But I feel better now because Emerson is coming back.

Yesterday we went to a neighbor's apartment and had a play date. Libby likes older girls. Last weekend she played with a girl exactly a year older than her. And Clara (the neighbor) is exactly two years older. We really had a good time :) 

Using Mommy's cellphone

Christmas is almost here

Libby and Enzo love God so much. We sang songs everyday, we jumped around the living room, and we actually made up some songs tonight as we prayed for Enzo to calm down. You are not alooooone... God is with you. Jesus is with meeeeeee, through the Holy Spirit right hereeee in my hearaart. 

Enzo was really tired. I think Enzo really misses Emerson. He is always super happy when Dadd gets home, and gets up to go greet him. The last two nights, though, he has cried a long, long time before falling asleep. Libby missed Daddy, too - I guess. She loves reading her books, and she is totally content not going outside, as long as she has something in her hands to read. That's pretty much all she does all day (I do all day). I bet she will be reading by the time we come back from India.

I think Enzo recognizes the letter A, and sometimes makes the sound for it. I don't think he can actually recognize F, but if you ask him what's the sound F makes, he does it :) He is so cute. He also hits me on the face, or on my arm, when he gets upset. He kicks me almost all the time when I am changing his diaper, or throws the sippy cup to the floor on purpose when I tell him he's had enough food. He is not that cute then. My children are so different. I just feel so bad for him because he gets in trouble almost every day. No, not almost every day. He gets in trouble almost all the time, every day.

By the way, Libby has been sleeping on the sleeping pad we take on our for camping trips after this unfortunate picture. I don't know what got into her, bu she wants to sleep on the floor. So now, she sleeps on the pad.

Sleeping on the floor

Oh, yes... Emerson had to go to Mexico to get his American visa renewed. He already got his Indian visa, and everything seems to indicate that he'll travel on January to take a look at Chennai, and what not. We might leave at the end of April. We'll see.

We missed The Cat in the Hat this morning because we woke up at 8 pm. Libby woke up with a mildish fever at 2 am, but I didn't give her any medicine. I thought she was really warm after her nighttime bath; she was shaking and she said she was cold. Then we spent three hours chatting -mostly singing- and she went back to bed at 5 am. She opened her eyes at 8 am. She cried and said something about her books. When she dreams about books, she always says someone takes them away :S

But at 8 am she had a 101 F fever. Emerson wasn't here, not that he would've missed work, but at least he could've helped me at night. But I had to be with her during the night, and then during the day. She was really crabby. We were planning on going to the grocery store, but we had a meltdown going out so I didn't risk it.

Getting better at taking photos of Daddy

She slept for two hours in the afternoon, but it's 9 pm and she's still singing. I went to her bedroom a while ago, and she says she wants to sleep in my room like last night. I explained to her that I had made an exception because she was sick, and I didn't want her to wake up Brother since she was crying last night. She said, "I'm crying, look! I'm crying. I have a fever". 

Yeah, right. I am smarter than you, Sweetheart :)

Are you ready?
Yes we are!
Are you steady?
Yes we are!
Are you sure you’re ready to explooore?
Yes we ARE!

Here we go go go go,
on an adventure!
The Thingamajigger is up and away.
Go go go go,
on an adventure.
We’re flying with the Cat in the Hat today!

Watching The Cat in the Hat, by Dr. Seuss. 

I'm so ready to go to bed, but I wanna see Emerson's face, even tough he said not to wait for him :)

I'll leave you with some videos from last night, so that you get to see what's on my girl's brain at 4 am.   

"Your nipples, nipples..."

Fishers of Men

Twinkle twinkle little star

My life redefined, by Dr. Seuss

I thought it would been nice to tell you that we had an awesome 8 day-trip to A LOT of places. It was a vacation that we all needed. Emerson will be in charge of writing that post since we took a lot of photos, and some of them are super fancy**. He would get upset if I didn't post them "right". You know, just like when Elizabeth gets upset because I do not close the toothpaste lid right away, or flush the toilet right before washing my hands. These are the crazy people in my life.

**Fancy Photo: A photo that I wouldn't be able to take since I have no idea how to use our camera to its fullest potential.

Anyways... I just wanted to post some cute pictures and videos of Enzo walking for the first time outside with his NB shoes. I bought that pair of shoes when Enzo was one month old, with money my mom gave me. I've been humpfed at by two or three sour kangaroos (inside joke here, Horton hears a Who, by Dr Seuss, is one of my best friends lately) because I buy my children expensive shoes. I know these shoes are not the cheapest, but they are really good shoes. We are a family who walks a lot, and play a lot outside, so they do wear those shoes. Libby walked many, many miles -literally- with her fist pair. 

So HUMPF!, to you.

Papucho en Acción 

Walking

Also, we've been having these "discussions" at breakfast about heaven, and that kind of stuff. I do most of the talking, of course, and Libby sometimes says things that crack me up. Like the other day I was saying something about Jesus. I explained that Christ is the Greek word for Messiah, the anointed One the Jewish people were waiting for. And then I don't know how, but she ended up talking about Christopher Robin. And I said, "No, Nena. I mean Jesus Christ, not Christopher". And she kept talking about Christopher Robin, and all of Pooh's friends. I knew I had to wrap it up.

Other times, we talk about the songs from Seeds that we listen to. They really like those songs. One of them is about storing treasures in heaven. We talked about what a treasure is, and that we shouldn't store treasures on Earth that are more important than God, like books, or money, or stuff in general; even hobbies, or our time. She looked at me and said, "Cell phones, Mami..." . That made me think she really gets it, because I've been telling her that I value the photos and videos I take with my cellphone A LOT. 

Speeding up a bit

Playing with the lion

Or last Friday, Emerson came from their bedroom and told me she prayed for him. She said, "I pray for you Daddy... You lose your patience, you work, and Enzo cries. Dear God, thank you for Daddy, and for patience and kindness. Amen. I love you."

We think she was talking about herself, because she yells at Enzo when he cries, she is the one getting upset. But, you know, it doesn't matter. She prayed for her Daddy. Actually last night it was the first night that she didn't scream at him in anger. She chose to sing songs to him (I told her to try to do so, and she did). He began crying, and she did yell at him twice, but also sang songs to him, and eventually he fell asleep. This morning I told her I was very proud of her for being so kind, and loving to her brother, and she smiled.

This morning we read about love being patient, and kind, and not easily angered... like she really gets it. Then she tells me, "I put my mocos in your face", Ha ha ha!!

So little by little they are learning many things about God. I just hope that one day they will make the choice about following Jesus, but it's their deal, their choice to do so. Influencing that choice to make it happen would be the worst thing I could do for them. It has to come from them, and be real. Only God knows their hearts.

Daddy in charge of putting them to sleep

The week before going camping we did many things. We went with Daddy to a park to see some owls they have there, and we actually saw how they gave them frozen rats to eat. After that we ate some Indian food. We really liked it! Specially the naan. Man, we are going to get so fat by just eating that. I hope the vegetables, and the almost-no-meat diet help to balance the scale.

Looking at the ducks

Walking with Daddy

Owl

We also went to Target to buy them some gloves because it was supposed to be super cold. And I took them, the day before leaving, to Burger King for lunch after out longest grocery shopping trip ever. That morning we went to Best Buy, REI, Barnes and Noble, Walmart, and finally BK. They did great ;)  

At Target

Lunch

I am also teaching Libby how to read now. This is our second day, so please, do not think my daughter will read by next month. I just think that she might be ready. I began teaching her the letters and sounds by the time she was fourteen months old. Nine months later, she knew them all, after me repeating them everyday. Sometimes I thought I was just wasting time, and saliva, but she knows them by heart now. Her new thing is that she spells the words she sees in her books. 

The spelling thing is what made me think that she might be trying to read. Today she was "reading" s-o-m-e-t-h-i-n-g. 

-Are you reading?  

-Yes.

-Well... s-o-m-e-t-h-i-n-g is how you spell the word something.[She smiled when I pronounced the word]. You can spell and you can read. Do you want me to teach you how to read? That way you can read books on your own. [In her mind she already does that, though].

-Yes.

Who knows? She says yes mostly to everything I ask. But it would be nice to get our minds into accomplish something new. She needs that. And it's time for Enzo to start learning his letters, too. I'd been just kicking it, watching shows, and playing outside, and being silly with them, which is what a mother is supposed to do, right? Ha, ha,ha!! But I'm a party-pooper-kind-of-mom, too. They need to entertain their minds with something beneficial.

I might be opening a Pandora box by teaching her to read. Today, my throat hurts because I've read Horton Hears a Who, by Dr. Seuss, like three times. And I mean, The Lorax, by Dr. Seuss, and Horton ARE NOT three-minute books, you know? Oh, no, I'm sorry. Horton Hears a Who, by Dr. Seuss.

Bubble

New BK

Every time I read a book to her, she corrects me...

-You wanna read this?

-Yes.

-Okay [I breathe for the millionth time]. Super readers, lets read! The cat in the hat... The sun did not shine...

-Oh, no. No. No. I'm sorry, Mommy. The Cat in the Hat, by Dr. Seuss.

-Oh, yes. I'm sorry. The Cat in the Hat, by Dr. Seuss...  

She even does the same thing with There's No Place Like Space, by Tish Rabe. I had to explain to her that Dr. Seuss did not write that book, but it was written by T.R. But the people like The Cat in the Hat, by Dr. Seuss, so much, that they asked Dr. Seuss if they could use the cat from The Cat in the Hat, by Dr. Seuss, to be in these other books. 

A money-sucker machine if you ask me, but we are easy prey when we see our Libby happily "reading". Emerson fell into this trap at the McDonald Observatory when he walked into the store. He wasn't supposed to buy anything, but then he looked!!, and said, "Oh, The Cat in the Hat, by Dr. Seuss. Libby wants this." 

So now, I read, "There's no place like space, by Tish Rabe, with the cat from The Cat in the Hat, by Dr. Seuss". It really amazes me how particular she can be. Today she said there were two fishes and two cats, when she put the books back to back. I had to explain that it was the same fish from The Cat in the Hat, by Dr. Seuss. The same fish that had told the cat, "No, no!! Out of this house!". 

But now, they are friends. And I showed her how the girl, Sally, is the same girl in both books. And Nick, whose name never appears in the The Cat in the Hat, by Dr. Seuss, is the same boy, too. "Do you see Sally's bow on her head? It's the same girl, and the same fish. The same cat, too. The cat from The Cat in the Hat, by Dr. Seuss. You see them?"   

Whether the name is Dick, or Conrad (1971 aired special), PBS calls the boy Nick. Explain that to Libby. And here I am thinking it would be a good idea teaching her to read :S

Horsie ride

Libby does that to me, too.

Struggling

Grocery shopping

Oh, other than that, I was the best mom for a day when I made them Green Eggs and Ham, by Dr. Seuss, for lunch. It was a hit in Libby's mind until she tried the yolk. I made her eat it, though, and she did. Those pasteurized eggs were expensive. She was very sweet. I think she did it for me, and because it was very special for her to eat Green Eggs and Ham, by Dr. Seuss. I followed the recipe from the Green Eggs and Ham Cookbook that we borrowed from the library. It has tons of recipes from the books. 

Enzo loved the eggs. Well, Enzo could eat rocks with guacamole for all I know. Not lately, though, because he's been sick. Oh, that Enzo is another one getting into a reading monster. He follows me to the bathroom when I am pooping and gives me books in my hand :)

Green Eggs and Ham

By Dr. Seuss.

Having children really changes your perspective in many ways. We went to a dinner party for Emerson's job on Friday. There were a lot of pretty girls dancing around; guys, too, don't get me wrong. They were dancing these were songs I'd never heard of, or I'm not into that anymore. I ended up chatting with a woman and her husband at our table, and we had so much fun! You wanna talk to someone? Ask them if they have children, and what are they up to these days. Then you won't be able to stop them from talking. Everybody really thinks their crows are the blackest. They got me. We talked about camping in cold weather, and that I was crazy, and brave for camping with two toddlers. And how three is worst than the terrible-two's, specially if Libby is so stubborn. We talked about Dr. Seuss, of course, too. I had fun. 

Still going to those parties leaves me sometimes wondering many things. You know, stupid things in my head. Like if all this is worth it, if I should try to pursue a career like many of those girls, or just stay home until who knows when. When is the right time to go back to work? Should I? Does Emerson expect me to be like one of them? Trying to have it all? Family, a career, and who knows what else? 

I usually come to my senses very quick, and I realize my life is just the way I want it to be. That doesn't mean it will never change, but from now I am doing what I need to do, and that is taking care of my family. Raising two beautiful children, and sharing my life with Emerson. I really hope my efforts one day will be rewarded in this life, and the life to come. Mostly, I want my children to want to be my friends when they grow up. Even if that happens when they are 30, have children of their own, and realize what I meant with all the things I wrote on this bog.

For now, to more urgent things like my very first Dr. Seuss' rhyming attempt  ...

My Pluto is now gone

By Karla "Sauer" Kangaroo 

(FYI, Sauer is one of my two last names)

The sun did shine, it was not too wet to play,

so I was at school, for most of the day.

And the teacher said something that made no sense at all,

She said, "A planet might disappear one day. My words, please, recall".

And the Sauer kangaroo inside of me said, "Humpf! What does she know?

It's not like she is an astronomer, you know?"

But the teacher insisted on having her way,

"A planet might not be here, even if that seems too far away."

Nonetheless, I memorized my planets by heart,

there were nine at that time and,

For learning them, nobody paid me a dime. 

Oh, how I wish there would have been a chart!

Oh, how I wish I had been able to tell them apart!

In no time, however, I had learned them all, 

and it wasn't hard, not that hard at all.

I will show my trick, I will show it to you, 

but you need to know, what you shouldn't do.

It's been said you should use a mnemonic technique

to learn many things, if you want to sound chic.

But I'll tell you, if you, like me, are unique

this method will sound to you very weak.

The Mnemonics for the Solar System, by TR.

Who is this Valerie? And what's up with her nickels?

It confuses my mind, as if my brain had just eaten pickles.

I will show you my trick now, I will show it to you,

I'm sure Dr. Seuss won't mind if I do.

Learning has to be fun, and my house is the craziest,

I'd like to think my children will never be the laziest.

From trips to the park, and visits to the library

Sometimes Mommy feels she's running for primary.

But I'll leave you my trick now, if alive Dr. Seuss would have it approved.

He would say, "This Sauer Kangaroo should have never been proved 

that Pluto is not more a planet, it should not have been removed!"

"Let her sing of her nine planets, who cares if she does?

Her children will learn of more valuable things, things of Heaven, 

So what's all the big buzz?

The Planets, MY way.

My 9 planets