Tonight is the night

Tonight is the last night I will breastfeed Elizabeth. Breastfeeding is coming to an end for medical reasons. 

I guess that's why I haven't written anything in a while. Many things have happened with Libby, but I was kind of sad dealing with the fact that I won't get to hold her in my arms anymore, I mean, to nurse her.

I didn't wan to stop, but I have to. I prayed about it, and it's the right thing to do for many important reasons.

Anyway...It was difficult at the beginning because she didn't like the first formulas she tried, she threw up as soon as she tasted Enfamil, but she ended up liking Similac. She even smiles now when she sees I'm preparing the thing, and she gets excited because she uses a straw.

Baby learning to use the straw. She is a natural sucker :)

It was difficult at the beginning to give her the formula, time consuming because she never took a bottle, and she refused to drink it from her sippy. But now, she eats with us at the table,  and if I want her to drink it herself for a little bit, she uses her cup with straw :)

Baby with her cup in the morning

Jumping like a log

She is very active, she's standing up everywhere now, the sofa, the wooden bench, the piano bench, the TV stand, even Mommy. She likes the Jenny Jump Up, and she is not very fond of the exersaucer anymore. I mean, she sits there if she has to, but I try not to put her in, she likes to move around all the time. 

I'll have extra time with her tonight. I asked Emerson if I could put her to sleep, because he always does that, but I want to tell her many things. I don't want to cry anymore, but I guess I will.

I remember praying on February 10th, that she would drink her milk, that she would like it, and God answered my prayer that same day. 

After being weaning her for almost 2 weeks, she's been drinking it no problem, and her weight and everything is fine. We had her well check last Friday. 

I just want to rewrite what I wrote on my diary yesterday:

"I have two more nights of breastfeeding Elizabeth. It's the end of my first season as a Mommy, I guess. God has helped me focus on things that I have been blessed with, instead of focusing on what I won't have anymore. Like the fact that I was able to breastfeed my baby for nine months.

I never talked to her during the times I nursed her, and it could be very easy to allow temptations enter my mind. Thoughts like, 'I should've talk to her' or just feeling guilty over the fact that there were times where I honestly was tired of nursing her around the clock at the beginning. But I won't allow myself to do that.

I never talk to her because it was her time, our time, but I always watched her...

I always played with her.

I prayed for her.

I sang songs to her.

I squeezed her hard against my breasts until she couldn't breathe and she began laughing.

I saw her grow in my arms.

And I'm thankful, so very thankful, God. Yes, I am sad, very sad still, but I am very joyful. There is joy in knowing I did my best for my baby, for her physical nourisment at the beginning of her life, and now it's time to nourish her in other ways. {More to come}"

My 9 lb baby girl at 1 week

My 18 lb baby girl at 9 months

In other news, we pierced her ears!!! My sister offered to buy her earrings for her birthday, since everubody tells her her nephew is really cute :) 

It worked out well, I was also tired of people telling me I have a precious boy! 

As Emerson was holding her she cried when she felt the gun, and I felt awful... I felt terrible I would put my child thru such pain. Then I had to go pay fo the earrings, and when I came back, she had stoped crying apparently, but as soon as she saw me, she began crying again. She just needed Mommy's love!!

Ready to roll, but now with earrings

The world couldn't be a better place

Pretty, pretty Libby

Since she is very mobile now, I have to put her inside her new baby jail.

It's just an area between the bathroom, the laundry room and the bedroom. We've had that gate for a long time, we bought it originally for Dori many years ago.

My babies in jail

She also has begun to make many funny faces, mostly to Emerson. Like this one she began doing a long time ago, like she is about to sneeze, you can hear how she breathes in through her nose, like an angry bull or something.

She began months ago when she didn't like something we were doing, but now Emerson started to repeat the face to her, and she just goes on and one making faces.

Angry bird

She is also eating table foods which means I have to cook more,  instead of just throwing whatever in the blender and freeze it, but I like cooking for my family and have diner together, with no TV, just us talking. 

She always, always makes a mess and ends up grabbing her hair with all the food she has on her hands. Like this time that we were having pancakes, and you can imagine where the syrup was :)

If someone is reaping the benefits of Libby eating table foods is Dori, who cleans the carpet like a good vacuum cleaner as soon as the food touches the floor.

Oh, and she is also teaching Daddy how to play the piano. If he misses a key, she gets up on the bench and shows him how to do it. 

Helping Daddy not to make mistakes

That's how you eat them pancakes!

Above all I LOVE this face. How couldn't I? She is the biggest blessing God has given us. We are crazy about her, but please, don't tell her.

Feb 26, 2012.

Discovering new things

Libby just amazes me every day... I love her so much. I admire her perseverance with the DVDs. So I guess this is one of the battles I'm deciding not to fight anymore. She just wants to explore, and I'm constantly telling her not to do that, but she keeps on doing that. The same with getting into the kitchen. I'm just being extra careful if I'm cooking :)

Messy DVDs

Today we were having lunch and she decided to show me her new thing for the camera. She leans her head towards one side, very cute, like posing, I don't know. She is a doll :)

Precious little baby

During lunch today she began putting her hands up. 

All this time I've been telling her, "Manitas arriba",  and then I put my hands up. But she had never done it before. Some times she tried to, but nothing like today. 

So I said,  "Manitas arriba" and she began doing it once and again, like more than ten times in a row. 

She was all smiles and after putting her little hands up, she also clapped sometimes, and I would say, "Bravo, por la Nena"

After lunch we took a shower - I took a shower- because before lunch we went for our three-mile walk. 

After the shower we went to the office to print some things, and coming back I gave her a piece of paper for her to play with. Everything was going great, then I did some stuff inside the bedroom, but the stroller was put in a way that I couldn't see Elizabeth.

Suddenly, I didn't hear anything at all, and that means trouble. She's on to something when she doesn't make any noises, specially if I left her buckled in the stroller.

Well, lo and behold... Elizabeth ate the piece of paper!!!

She was after the gecko

I had to take some pieces out of her mouth, and she cried for a little bit. I think I scared her for how I put my fingers inside her mouth. I called the nurse just to make sure she would poop it out, and they said that's what was going to happen, so we'll see :))

How not to be thankful that those pretty eyes didn't choke with the paper?? I just thanked God for taking care of her like Daddy and I have been praying. Then I teased myself, "You are a terrible, terrible mother..." and laughed once I made her drink tons of water :))

My big brown eyes

Libby is getting everywhere

So as I said I didn't register for next class. I'll take it easy and will learn online as I was doing. I've practiced making cakes. This was my last one for the class, but I didn't go, I had more important things to do with this cake (a story to tell later)

Sweetest cake ever :))

A lot of things have happened!!

Libby is officially crawling. Well, she was already, but now she is fast. She has helped me cook different things for Daddy with the mixer he gave me for my birthday. 

Making ravioli pasta

She can pull herself up if you help her. She's getting stronger every day.

Standing by herself

Lately I've been tired of stopping her going everywhere, she moves around very fast, and I just have to say No, and No, and No. She likes getting into the kitchen a lot, I guess she likes that the floor is kind of slippery. I could say the other day she defied me!! She went to the kitchen floor and since I didn't follow her to pick her up and tell her no, she just looked at me, smiled like saying, "Look where I'm at", and continued into the kitchen.

She learned how to stand up on her crib and she was trying to climb over, so we have to lower the mattress. Lately, she hasn't bumped her head, but she did a couple of times, because she stands up but she doesn't know how to get down. Daddy is teaching her. 

Libby still stands up on her crib :))

We went to Karbach Brewing Company yesterday since Emerson's cousin came with his girlfriend to visit.


I've been dealing with personal stuff lately, mainly about my insecurities as a woman, and I think slowly but surely I'll make progress. I want to be whole for my husband and my daughter. today the sermon was about choosing to be a vulture or a hummingbird. You see what you are looking for, and I'm tired of seeing dead carcasses. I want to see life. 

Libby bored at the explanation since she already knows it all

I love my life, it's AWESOME!!! I have a healthy baby girl, a wonderful husband, a God who's absolutely crazy about me, and wants to be with my forever, and help me live my life. I'm not alone. I can deal with this, and with all the lies I hear in my head. 

God and my awesome family are giving me the strength I need :))))

My awesome family :)))