When Dadda prays...

Jan 21st, 2012

Lots of things have happened since last week. I've made several cakes. I think they are cute, and the purpose of the class has been reached. I can make my baby's cakes for her birthdays. I'll keep practicing when I have the chance...

Jan 14th, 2012

Anyways, talking about more important stuff,  Libby had a rough week. I mean, as rough as a 7-month-old baby's life can get. I think her gums were giving her trouble and she wasn't eating as she normally does. She pretty much left everything on her plate (little bowls) at every meal, and she would cry and cry the entire time I was trying to feed her.

Then, after five days of madness, she stopped. Like if nothing had happened she was all smiles again, and she was eating as she usually does. I thought that was weird, and I told Emerson about it on the phone. He said he had been praying for her.

That touched my heart in a way I cannot describe. I'm here thinking this is normal for a baby, that she has to go through it, and that's probably truth. But the Bible teaches us that God is a personal God, and I never stopped to think that God could ease the pain in my baby's gums. 

I'm happy Dadda prayed. In a way I think God honors his prayers more than He honors mine. Not that God doesn't honor mine, but Dadda is the head of this house, he's my head, and I want to follow him. His godly responsibility is to care for us and to protect us, and when he said he prayed, it made me feel secure. He was protecting us like every man should do, doing what he could do in a situation like this: praying.

I feel bad I don't have more pictures of Libby right now, but lately I've been recording with the handy cam almost everything she does, instead of taking photos.

She claps now, and she is crawling already. She crawls slowly, but she does. And I'm fried :))

Oh, Emerson bought me a mixer for my birthday and it's a breeze to use it to make bread, and frosting for the cakes. And we went to eat dinner at a Mongolian stir-fry place, and then all of us had ice cream. Libby liked it, of course.

Last night we had pancakes. Wow... it had been at least six months since I had made pancakes. That means I don't like to feed my family crap. They are really yummy, but it's too much sugar, and butter. I don't know, I felt guilty of feeding that to Elizabeth, but she has to try everything, and she loved maple syrup.

Next month Emerson will be planning the meals he wants me to cook for him. He wants to save money on groceries. I know I spend more than I should almost every month. Especially this month I spent it on cakes and that stuff. And so I made up my mind. I'm not taking the next course for the cakes. I'll wait until I can save the money I will need for the class and the materials.

Besides, I learned more from the internet and you tube videos than from my teacher. Experience is the key, doing it over and over, practicing. I''ll do that every time I can, but I need to spend the money I have, not the money I don't have. 

I want my daughter to see that I'm a responsible mom, that everything I preach, I do. That there are no gray areas in obedience. Partial obedience is disobedience and a cake is nice, but we won't have cake if mom doesn't have money to buy everything the cake has to have. 

I want to model for her the right thing, otherwise, I am a hypocrite. In everything in life, even with cakes, as yummy as they are. Thanks Emerson, I love you.

Well, that's it for now. I'll take more pictures of Libby, I promise. She is getting so big. Oh!! I forgot, but see, that's also on camera...she can push the button to turn on her fishies in her crib. I need to upload those videos in here, but my husband threw away the disc to work with them on my computer. I'll ask him to upload them when he has time. 

God is shouting

I guess this will be a long post...and with different subjects. 

I don't really remember a time when God would speak to me constantly about something through someone else. Maybe He has, but I don't remember.

But lately it seems that everything seems to be saying, "I'm right here". God is here, with me. 

Jan, 2011. My bowls - her new toys.

They said the other day at church that this year God has great plans for me. Duh!! I know that, it's so easy to say that once you've been a Christian for a while. Like in that song where it says, "I guess I thought that I had figured you out, I learned all the stories, and I learned to talk about how you were mighty to save, but those were all empty words on a page..."

Anyway, what's His plan for me? Because I want to know. I've been stuck for so long in the I-used-to-do-this-but-know-I-have-a-baby-mentality, that it's hard to let go. It's like I felt my plan was one and I knew it, I can say I knew it, but then I'm on pause button while I'm a mom.

And Pastor Dave said I have to let go, I have to say bye to my past if I want to see my future. It makes sense, I want to be fulfilled as a mom, but I struggle with the fact that I don't have the time I used to. 

I like that Elizabeth listens to me every time I tell her about God. But mostly, I like the fact that God speaks to me every time I'm teaching Elizabeth. We are reading Exodus and I like to show her pictures from her Bible, but I really read mine when it's kind of a long story, like the Exodus from Egypt.

I was explaining to her that there are different Bibles, all the same, but different translations and that children's Bibles are shorter and with pictures, because children like pictures. She likes mine anyway, she's always trying to grab it.

So I was reading to her about Moses and how he reacted when God told him he was the one that was supposed to go tell Pharaoh to let God's people go. I told her Moses was afraid, that he didn't feel he was fit for that job, and I said that when God calls you into something, He will equip you for that. 

God chose Moses. Moses was the one, he had a purpose from the moment he was put into the river by his sister, Miriam. He grew up in Pharaoh's palace, then he killed an Egyptian and he ran away. He probably thought and felt like I feel sometimes, that God had forgotten about him, that there was no purpose. And then God showed up.

The same thing happened when I was reading to her about Joseph (which happens to be right before they became slaves in Egypt). Joseph had a purpose, but that purpose didn't came to be until 13 years later when he saves his family from famine, and brings them to Egypt with him. His life was on pause also, but not really. 

The purpose is a whole thing, there are pauses and different paths, but all lead to the end God wants you to have. I mean, assuming everything you do is godly. And actually, there is no single purpose, there are different things God wants you to accomplish. 

Joseph was a slave, then he got out, and served Pothipar. Then he was thrown into jail, then made friends in jail, got out again.  Then he became almost Pharaoh, was in charge of Egypt and bla, bla... He accomplished many things on his 13-year-pause from his purpose, and all those things were orchestrated by God. God knew every single one of them. 

And see, there was not ONLY one purpose, but many. First, that He would serve Potiphar, that he would help the guy to get out of jail by interpreting his dream, that he would interpret Pharaoh's dream, etc. It's like that movie, It's a Wonderful Life. You are here for many things, not just one.

She plays with her toy bin

My pause now is Libby. Oh, Libyshhhhh, like my cousin Haidee calls her. I love you. I hope one day you could read this and laugh at how your Momma struggled with silly things while raising you... and know that I would do anything for you, I would give my life for you. 

So Exodus 6:6-8 really stood out for me, "I am the LORD, and I will bring you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians. I will free you from being slaves to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment. I will take you as my own people, and I will be your God. Then you will know that I am the LORD your God, who brought you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians. And I will bring you to the land I swore with uplifted hand to give to Abraham, to Isaac and to Jacob. I will give it to you as a possession. I am the LORD"

I don't really know why it spoke to me, but I feel I'm under a yoke that it's not Jesus'. I'm a slave to my past, but God will bring me out. He will be my God, He doesn't forget about me, all the contrary. This time, this season in my life has purpose. Teaching Libby about God has purpose, and He will bring me to the land He promised. I don't know where that is, but it's okay, I don't have to know everything.

To finish this I will write what my Bible said. It reminded me of Nancy again:

She likes to get out all her toys

"Most of us want to know God's plan for our lives, but we're not always sure how to find it. One common misunderstabding is the idea of God's guidance will come to us out o the blue, and that it has nothing to do with what we're doing right now. But if we are always looking around for God's next assignemnet, we run the risk of ruining whatever we're working on right now. In the Bible, we can see that often God's call came while people were completely immersed in the challenge of the moment." 

True that. Moses was a run away, David was a shepherd, Gideon was a food gatherer for his family... I am Mommy, although I don't hear that yet, but I will. 

 Jeff told me yesterday that I have an opportunity that most people would want. I get to stay home with my daughter. And that if I thought about it, it will be very soon that she will be going to preschool, and then school, and I won't get to spend all day long with her. I can do something else with my time then, I can volunteer where I please, that time will come again. 

But right now, I only have this small window to make a difference, a real difference, and teach her about Jesus. He said, "Imagine that Elizabeth gets to share her faith in Jesus with such passion, that she becomes the next Joyce Meyer..." To what I responded, "Well, no, thank you..." 

He laughed and continued, "Well, the next Joyce Meyer with the gospel right. Wouldn't you look back and see that this time made that possible? It's just a matter of perspective."

He is so right. Besides, who wouldn't want to be this cutie's teacher?

My little student after eating.
Look how proud Mamma is at her mess.

So...changing the subject, Emerson brew some beer last week, and Libby helped him.

January 7th, 2012. Brewing day with Dadda.

Nancy Hunter sent me this via facebook. It reminded me that the seeds I'm planting with Elizabeth might one day produce very good fruit. She is my very own little disciple. I had always wanted that someone would listen to what I have to say about God. Well, I have her right in my living room every morning listening, she just doesn't know how to speak yet. But she listens...

Hmmm...what else?

My cake class is going alright. I've learned several things, like icing the cake the right way. I get to make a cake for a baby shower next Sunday as a favor. It will help me practice. Here are some photos of my work, before the first class and after the first class...

I wanted to take a class because of this

I will post some photos of a cake I'm baking now, just for practice before the baby shower. We have small group tonight so I'm guessing I'll take it there. 

Second cake 

Emerson has been taking the cakes I've baked to work, I'm glad because it's a ton of sweet stuff. We went to Michael's to buy pans and other things I needed for baking. 

First cake after first class

I really like baking cakes, decorating them more than anything. There's a weird feeling I get when I see it, and see that is pretty. Still I  need to learn, but I'm making progress considering I've learned almost everything on the internet.  

Blessed beyond belief

Nancy Hunter has been writing in her blog lately about Gabe and the children. I think God has been trying to tell me something through her lately.

Nancy wrote that some years ago she gave Gabe a photo album because she wanted him to see the beautiful gifts God had given him, the precious people who were looking up to him, and priceless moments with them. 

She wanted him to realize that he was not unfortunate and forgotten by God, but blessed beyond belief; that life was not hopeless, but wonderful.

I've been feeling weird these couple of weeks. I know I'm blessed, but I feel guilty about it. I feel that God would come and take it all away because I didn't do what I'm supposed to. I want to do more things with my life, and sometimes I don't think changing diapers and doing laundry is enough.

But when I read what Nancy wrote, I cried. I cried and I asked God to tell me what's wrong. I feel He said nothing's wrong. I don't have to be afraid because He loves me and wants to bless me. All this time I've been wondering what I am supposed to do with my life, but Nancy said it perfectly:

"I think it's funny that I am always trying to figure out 'What does God want me to do?' and figure out his direction for what is next. I was reminded that maybe I am right where He wants me. I picture it like I'm on a bus calling everybody to try to get directions to Chicago and I'm already there. I just need to chill and appreciate what He has done and is doing"

I think I am right where God wants me, and they talked about that at church the other day, I guess I am the only one struggling with that. I just can't believe God wants me being a Mommy, when I can be helping somewhere else. 

Yes, she is needy...she grabs me by the hair and pulls it awfully when I'm trying to put her in her crib to go night, nights...

Yes, she cries...she cries every time she wants me to change her diaper, or hug her, or feed her or pick her up. She cries whenever I leave her alone, or disappear to go pipis. No matter how many times I tell her Mommy also needs to go pipis, she cries...

But she laughs whenever I say,  "Venga, venga" 

Or whenever Daddy says, "Hey, hey, hey" in Fat Albert's voice...

 And she never pays attention whenever Dori is around...

I have the perfect gift in her. Creation is God's unique ability, and He blessed us wit her. She sees us, she trusts in us. She doesn't say it, but she loves us.

I have a perfect family. It doesn't mean Mommy and Daddy don't argue. We argue a lot. It doesn't mean Mommy and Daddy don't sin. We sin, heck, we do...we are imperfect people. 

It means we are loved by a God who understands everything. And He chooses to love us in spite of us. He chooses to love. He has a plan for me. He has a plan for Emerson. He has a plan for our marriage, and our children. He has a plan for how we will raise our family. 

And maybe I don't need to be constantly thinking if I'm exactly fulfilling it. Don't need to be anxious about having to know how it will unfold, or the next move I need to make, or stressing out thinking maybe God doesn't want me to do exactly that.

He is in charge of me, I am His responsibility. He has to take care of me. Maybe I just need to relax and trust He will guide me through it, He will take care of it... 

When Jesus died for us, He promised He will.  

Longwood Trails. Dec 2011.