Merry Christmas

What can I say? We are so very blessed...

I think of all Christmases, this one was the best one, at least for me. I have a wonderful daughter and a wonderful husband.

When I was growing up I heard of Jesus, but He was never the center of attention on His own birthday party. I guess I cared more about Santa, who didn't even exist...

But this Christmas was different. I've been a Christian for 4 years now, but having a baby changes your world.

There was excitement, even if Libby had no idea what was going on. Looking at her all dressed up, going to church, watching her opening the presents...there was joy in my heart :)

We cooked one day before, on the 23rd. We made tamales, refried beans and cochinita pibil. I also made a cheesecake, it was a new recipe to try, and it was awesome.

Taking the family picture was challenging, but not   impossible. I was right when I told Emerson it was gonna take us like an hour, but it didn't take us that long. Libby was still all the time and she would move exactly when the timer went off. But I think we had very pretty pictures of her and of us.

She got many presents, almost everything was for her. Emerson bought us a handy cam, and I was very excited. I know she is still a baby, but it felt good not to mention Santa at all. I think we made the right decision about not doing the whole  Santa scam.

I understand if parents want to do it, but I just can't lie to her, and then have to break her heart telling her the truth, or even worse, a stupid kid breaking her heart. Although, now that I think about it, she might be one of those children that everybody hates because they go on telling others about Santa, but there is always a loving way to communicate truth, even if the truth hurts.

Oh, well, we have time to explain to her the whole thing, and teach her that everyone has the choice of believing in something, even if that something is fake. Mostly we have to teach her to share the real reason for Christmas instead of telling children that Santa is not real.

I liked the tradition that we started, mostly because she couldn't fall asleep very easily on Christmas Eve. I went into the bedroom to hug her and I whispered that she had to go to sleep because Jesus was about to be born. I said, "Tonight many years ago Mary and Joseph were looking for a place to stay because Jesus was about to be born, but they couldn't find any. When you wake up tomorrow, we will read the whole story and how it happened, and we will sing Happy Birthday, Jesus."

And so on Christmas Day, we read the story from her Bible and sang...next year there will be a cake on Christmas morning so we can sing to Jesus, maybe she will even blow a candle :)) 

On an interesting note, I'm starting a cake decorating class beginning January. I'm excited, very excited. 

San Antonio

Last weekend we went to San Antonio with Emerson's mom. She came for 3 days and we had fun. We took Libby's back pack with us and we visited The Alamo, the Spanish Governor's Palace, and basically, we just walked around :))

Watching TV...

With Grandma at the hotel room

In the garden of Governor's Palace

With Dada eating Tex Mex

Outside Restaurant Mi Tierra 

THEN...I have wisdom teeth surgery last Thursday. It was funny because I don't remember much of the procedure. Nothing actually...

The last thing I remember was that I asked the doctor how fast the IV would work, and he said, "Soon, don't worry." After that I said, "Oh, yeah, the ceiling is moving already..." And that was it :))

Emerson said he felt sorry for me, I didn't say anything on the way home. I don't even remember getting into the car. I have a vague memory of being on a wheelchair, but nothing solid. I was on drugs, literally.

It didn't hurt that much on Thursday. But yesterday I talked a lot and my face was swelled. It hurts a little bit now. Food is getting into one huge socket, and rinsing hurts. I just hope it doesn't get infected.

On a higher note, the antibiotic is safe if I get pregnant, so God willing I'll be pregnant by my birthday. Oh, and I have the best nurse at home... a nurse that is becoming mobile. She kinda launches herself into everything, and rolls, and then lifts her hips to push herself and grab things...

She is not crawling yet... but she will do it soon - oh, boy, very soon.

Libby playing with Mom after the surgery.

Faith in poop...

This might be a very silly post, but hey...it is what it is.

I've been reading Hebrews 11 for BSF, The Hall of Faith...

This morning I was reading to Libby what faith is. It means that you are sure that what you hope for is really going to happen. It is being certain that what you do not see with your eyes is there...

Poop has been a struggle for me lately, Libby's poop. And this is when you think, "This is silly."

She had this regular pattern of pooping, one day she would, then the next day she wouldn't. But now, it's more like two days in a row, and then she just doesn't go for three or four days. Like two weeks ago I think she was constipated, because the poop was kinda hard, and then I began giving her prunes everyday, and having her drink juice besides her breast milk. And she began pooping regularly.

Anyways...As I began explaining to her this morning what faith is, I said, "So, Libby, you have faith when you really believe that what you hope for is going to happen, and this might be a silly example, but look, baby...You haven't pooped in many days, and I trust that you will. I have faith that God is gonna help you poop, because He is in control of your body. You are His, not mine. He has to take care of you."

During all the time we were sitting on the living room, she was closing her fists, like pushing, and grunting. I hugged her, and kissed her, and I said, "I know you will poop. Please, God, help her poop."

So I checked on her diaper, and I saw poop. When I went to the bedroom and began changing her, all I saw was a tiny little thing of poop. It was kind of hard, like it was when she was constipated weeks ago. I said, "Oh, no...you are constipated."

I felt sad, I felt disappointed. I thought she was going to poop, but now I  was doubting it...

But then, like if she were squeezing tooth paste out of her belly, poop began coming out, not hard, but soft. A continuous stream of poop in her diaper. I felt happy, I felt relieved. I knew she would poop.

A whisper in my heart said, "Where is your faith??"

See, I don't know what God intended with this. Well, I do. It's easy to say you have faith, but you have to prove it by the way you live. I said I knew she would poop, but then, at the first sight of hard poop, I doubted...

I know God is not this bad guy who would constipate my daughter just to teach me a lesson.  But I know He uses everything that happens in my every day life to make me get closer to Him, and be more like Jesus.

Jesus said you don't have to have a huge amount of faith, just a little. He can work with that.

And I know that my God is so strong, so faithful, and so PERSONAL... He is able to teach me, and love me through poop struggles... and if He does that, when He doesn't really need to, what in this world wouldn't He do for me??

Thank you , God. Thanks again for poop :)))

Weekend of many firsts

Libby's stroller got here Thursday night. I think I was more excited than her for obvious reasons. First, she doesn't even know what's going on; and second, it's not like she runs. Most of all, I think Dori is the one that really is gonna LOVE the thing. 

FedEx Delivery guy.

Daddy putting it togehter

Dec 1st, 2011. All Libby needs now is a sibling :))

This Saturday we went together as a family, yes, the four of us, for a run. It was a wake up call. Man, pushing that thing is tiring. It is huge. Of course, Emerson says I'm overreacting. But after a year of not running due to having a baby inside of me; and then, having a new born, running two miles was kinda difficult.

Although...it wasn't that difficult. I was feeling pretty tired even before we got to the play area (before we had run 1 mile). But there was something inside of me that didn't let me quit. See, I've always been a quitter when it comes to running and giving my best effort. But after having Elizabeth and pushing her out of me...running pain is nothing, feels like nothing. 

I mean, 9 lb. 4 oz. baby, vaginally, with pitocin and NO epidural... THAT is painful, not a 2 mile-run.

"Oh, Bugs Bunny band aids!!"

So having my baby with me while I run reminds me of the goodness of God. He has blessed us more than we deserve.  

After running, Libby tried yogurt and cheerios for the first time. I think she loved yogurt; Cheerios, I'm not sure. It is difficult to chew on them, I guess. 

On Friday, we went to her 6 month check up. She is 25.75 inches long and weighs 16.8 lb!! She got 4 shots.  

Four!!!  She cried, of course, but she was over it after I hugged her and told her I was so proud of her. Mommy's hugs have this thing I can't really describe :))

Last night, we went to the Christmas Program at our church. The children were really cute. Libby got her first pictures with Santa taken. It was really neat listening to Santa reading the true Christmas Story from the Bible, and telling the children Christmas wasn't about him, or the gifts, but about the birth of Jesus, our Savior. 

Dec 4th, 2011. First Photo with Santa.

For a moment I thought about doing Santa with her, but I won't. She'll know the truth. We can pretend there is a Santa, it's fun to pretend. Like when you pretend you are a dinosaur, but you know you are not really one. Or you pretend you are a monster, but you are not one. It's fun to pretend, but she will know Santa doesn't really exist. 

Most importantly, she'll know what Christmas is really about. 

Libby loves BSF

I guess it hit me yesterday that my baby is growing up. I know she is growing, she is big and heavy...but she is a human being, independent, and she really doesn't need me all the time. It's saddening...

Nov 28th, 2011. Helping Mommy in the kitchen.

When I began breastfeeding her I felt it was a constant struggle for me being nursing her every two hours around the clock. I've heard stories of moms that have breastfed until the child is like 2 years old and more. And at the beginning I was like, "You've gotta be crazy to do that!!"

But now, when I have her in my arms I get really sad when I think that soon I'll be giving up on breastfeeding. Not because I want to, but because as much as I love her, I know that she doesn't really need my milk forever. She is eating solids and she is drinking less milk now. It will be less and less with time. But I don't want to let her go...I honestly cry at the thought of stop nursing her. I feel like she won't ever need me anymore, but I know she will, just in a different way.

Anyway...all this came to mind because yesterday we went to our Bible Study. We go to Bible Study Fellowship, that's an awesome ministry. The leaders of her class are amazing and they read Bible Stories to them, they pray for them, they play with them, and she is always so happy.

Nov 30th, 2011

Yesterday I was in my discussion group feeling very anxious about her. I knew she needed to eat and I was just expecting someone to come and let me know she was screaming or something (last week that's what it happened, but it was because she was very tired).

So I rushed out of my classroom when my discussion was over, and when I got into her classroom, she was so happy playing with toys and one of the leaders. She didn't even notice me!

Seriously, she saw me, but either she didn't recognize me (which I highly doubt at this point) or she just didn't care. She was like, "Oh... Hi, Mom, what's up?"

I love that...the fact that she is a happy baby, joyful I have to say... I prayed during all my pregnancy that she would be joyful, that she would feel the peace of God, that she would be eager to listen from and about God, and she does. I swear she calms down and listens when we are talking about God  and Jesus.

But it's bitter sweet, because I feel she is MY baby. But I know she is not, she is my gift from God, but I'm just her steward. My job is to help her be the woman God created her to be.

Nov 30th, 2011. Chilling in the bathtub.

This morning  we were talking about what God expects from her once she becomes a Christian. She is not a Christian, but if she ever chooses to follow Jesus, I explained to her what Hebrews 5 is all about. 

Jesus saves you because He loves you. That is the promise God gives you. If you make Jesus the boss of your life, you will have eternal life. God will never, ever take away your salvation from you. But the fact that you know that is just but the basics of your Christian life. 

God loves you, but He wants you to mature as a Christian. He died for you, but He also wants you to grow up spiritually. It's your choice, like everything else. But why wouldn't you want to mature and get to know Jesus in a deeper level, after all He has done for you?? Only by growing up, and eating solid food you will be able to distinguish good from evil according to Hebrews 5: 14. Solid food is the word of God.

I tried to explain this by telling her that she is now a baby and drinks my milk, but one day she will go to school and she will need to take different classes. And at the beginning of the school year her teacher will tell her what subjects she will be covering. She will have a book to study, but she needs to open that book in order to excel in the class.

She has the choice to study or not for the course, but if she decides not to study, she shouldn't be surprised if she fails the class. God gave you what you need to face life, He gave you The Book, but you have to open it, read it, and apply it for you to get the most out of life.

Libby is six months old

I created this blog in October, 2010, and never wrote a single word. But that's about to change...

This has been a hectic year, mostly because now I'm a mom. I 'd like to think of myself as a busy mom, but I'm not THAT busy. 

I guess I'll start writing this thing because a friend of mine has one and don't get me wrong, I think I'm busy. But she works full time, has three children, is a single mom and still had time to write a blog??? She is so inspiring, and showed me I  CAN do this. I just need to find time to do it.

I'm almost finished writing that book, well I'm finished. I'm just waiting for Jeff to send me the last 4 chapters with corrections. 

I don't even know what you are supposed to write in here. I guess in my book you would read our story before coming to the US and some years after that. I want this blog to be like, you know, a continuation of that. My spiritual diary is full of stuff but not like it was before...

I'm not saying I'm taking a break from God, all I'm saying is that I feel my relationship with God has changed lately. Somehow I feel more than ever that HE LOVES ME, but it's weird because I don't give Him the same time that I used to. 

Before Elizabeth was born I was volunteering so much on Ohio. I was teaching at Grace, I was helping at two clinics praying for people, I was doing Alpha in Heritage, I was doing Children's Ministry at Northchurch, but them we moved and everything changed. 

We found a church home a year ago, but just yesterday I began volunteering taking care of the babies. 

I found out I was pregnant in September, 2010 and it was like my life stopped. I love, LOVE being a mom, but it is difficult to realize that my life is not my own anymore. Well, it's never been my own since I got saved, right?? I belong to God now, but somehow, I decided what to do with my time, and if I wanted to take a nap or three naps in the middle of the day I could do it.

But now, it's more like, I get to do whatever I can, if and only if it doesn't interfere with Libby's schedule. I love my baby girl. 

For instance, I don't get to go to the Women's Monthly Meeting because it's at 7 pm and I know by that time Libby is almost about to go to sleep for the night and I don't want to mess that up, but then I think the meeting is only once a month...sometimes I'm too anal about stuff. I need to relax and enjoy her as much as I can, it's okay if she doesn't go to bed at 7 once a month.

So...I don't get to read my Bible as much as I would like, but I do read it, and I do feel God's love all the time, I just look at Libby all the time and all I say all day long is, "Thank you, God, I thank you..."

Let's see...these are my entries from my diary, not all of them but the most important ones:

May 31st, 2010   Libby was born on May 24th, 2011 on Emerson's birthday at 5:33 pm. She weighed 9lb 4 oz. It was the worst and sweetest pain of my life. I used an app for timing contractions. Emerson said she was getting black because she was too big while I was pushing but I pushed so hard and it was a miracle. I was able to do all things though Jesus who gave me the strength to do it. She was jaundiced and we got out of the hospital on the 28th. Got her fist bath on the 30th, after I  accidentally took off her umbilical cord on the same day we got here from the hospital.

At the hospital with my baby girl

First bath

She pooped her diaper so bad that the bed was all dirty and she peed the bed. Emerson is in love with her. I'm in love with her.

We walked for the first time on Jun 19th. A day before, Jun 18th, she pooped the whole onesie, we had to cut it out with scissors.

Jun 22nd  I sinned against Libby. I get so mad at her when I can't comfort her and I think she should be different. On Jun 28th got her fist bath with Dad. On Jun 29th, I got sick with mastitis.

July 1st    Father, I love you. I wished I could say I'd always loved you this way, but I can't. Even since Elizabeth was born I feel different about you. I feel less forced to read my Bible, and I'm beginning to understand how you feel about me. I'm sorry when I demand you do things for Libby. Regarding my parents, it was a challenging experience. Thank you for healing my mastitis.

July 4th  She saw fireworks for the first time.

Waiting for the fireworks

July 17th   Went to church the first time. 

July 20th  I shouldn't be afraid of beingLibby's mom. I've been afraid of many things all my life, but being her mother shouldn't be one of them.

Aug 12th   She couldn't sleep well, but we prayed, "Jesus, I'm tired.  I believe you will need give me what I need. I want to meet you in my dreams, play with my brother and my cousin Braulio. Help me sleep." I don't know if that really happened...but she slept 11 hours straight.

Galveston. Sept 17, 2011.

Sep 13th   Libby always smiles when she's very tired and I sing songs about God.  It's like she knows the peace of God. I always prayed that she would be a joyful baby when I was pregnant.

Sep 24th  I had an MRI taken yesterday. I'm sick but God will take care of me. 

Oct 5th  I feel overwhelmed with the things about my neck. I feel awful about leaving her alone when I need to cook or clean. I need to leave Houston because of visa issues. I've been feeling depression is pulling me down like always. I needed a friend, I told you that, God, and you heard. Mary called me at that same time :))

I just need a break, I'm so tired...Visa didn't get here, the freezer went nuts, Libby got sick, I have three herniated discs...but you are in control. I know this is temporary. But it sucks while it's happening. And Jeff made me realize my life is perfect, no matter what...I'm healthy, I have food, I have clothes, it will be okay :))

Nov 5th   Need wisdom teeth removed. God, help me understand you don't need my religion. The fact that I don't volunteer as much or do as much as I used to, it's okay. You don't need my religious acts. It's my heart that you want. 

Nov 9th  Thank you for you Son, God. Your grace is enough for me. I'm afraid I'll mess up with Libby. But you are the only one who can help me. There are no words to describe how grateful I am that you died for me.

Nov 16th  Guess Libby doesn't like broccoli. She has thrown the pureed up 3 out of 3 times.

Nov 18th  I asked Libby for forgiveness. I haven't been joyful lately. How can I teach her to be something that I'm not??

Nov 22, 2011

Well...so far that's been what's happened around here. Oh...I got a keurig for Christmas which rocks. And we also bought a jogging stroller with the money my mom gave us for Christmas. Libby is very happy and my life is...perfect. Thank you, God :))